It is practically impossible for any single human to meet all Social Aver‘ages’. It is like striving to be a Common Man. None of us liked to be called a common man yet we all strive to meet average expectations of the society.
Some people may achieve professional success according to expectations but cannot meet that in family life. Some people have tremendous success in family but fail at personal aver’ages’. Each of us is unique.
Another important aspect to be aware of is that a social aver‘age’ is not a biological aver‘age’. Socially the aver‘age’ of pairing and reproduction varies from culture to culture. However, a person is biologically ready to reproduce when he/she attains puberty which is roughly around ages 10 to 13. You must be worried if you do not attain puberty even by 18, not if you can’t get married by 30.
So the first step to getting rid of Social Aver‘ages’ from your subconscious is to understand Social Aver‘ages’ are all just averages not benchmarks. There is no harm in sticking to them but if we fail to achieve them it is okay too.
It is also important to understand that as long as we place emphasis on what our friends, relatives and neighbours talk about us, we cannot really shake Social Aver‘ages’ out of our heads. And as I said in the earlier post, more than others it is the critic within who needs to be silenced. It means we also need stop judging others based on Social Aver‘ages’.
Effort is the next logical step. Whenever you find you are comparing or criticising yourself or others on basis of the Social Aver‘ages’, stop and review your opinions. This can happen only if you are committed to change.
A Social Aver‘age’ is a deep rooted belief – at foundation level. So it will keep popping up consistently and your efforts need to be that consistent too. You keep doing this with persistence, you will soon find that your issues based on Social Aver‘ages’ coming down and you are able to live life with much more personal freedom.
Just keep the awareness going in your head and you are bound to change your core beliefs! Expect setbacks because they could happen. Read my blog on House of Cards Effect to know facts about how, because of a false assumption, we easily give up on resolving our problems.
Lastly, if you are a parent please stop pressurising your children on the basis of Social Aver‘ages’. We therapists get too many disappointed parents and discouraged youngsters.
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