I know I am posting this after a long delay. Recently, I and my wife completed our Reiki Master course and were busy in that. We are now conducting Reiki workshops in Hyderabad. Those interested in learning Reiki Healing technique can call us for workshop details.
Ok, coming back to Anger Management. I spoke about Thought Retracement Technique. This technique helps in cutting down everyday anger and keeping it from spreading. However it does not reveal the root causes. It only tells you the trigger event i.e., the event which made you angry. Root cause will tell you why you had to get angry in the trigger event. Which belief of yours was evoked that you had to defend yourself by anger. Root Analysis Technique is the method to find that out.
Anger Management Technique 2 – Root Analysis Technique
As I said you can use Thoughts Retracement Technique whenever you find yourself irritated. It will show you the origin event which triggered your anger. Now Root Analysis Technique is used when you have some time to spare. What you basically do in this technique is to simply ask yourself why you had to get angry in the trigger event. You will do a simple analysis of the trigger event to find out which belief of yours was evoked. The key to success of this technique here is not expecting an answer right away. Let me explain with an example.
Let us say you find yourself in an irritable mood one afternoon. So you use the Thoughts Retracement Technique to find out when your anger had started. You find that earlier in the day, your colleague had said something to you that made you angry. Maybe he commented about the way you handled your clients. You got angry but chose to swallow it. You complete the Thoughts Retracement Technique to get rid of your irritable mood.
Now on the way back home you are in the bus and have the time to analyse the trigger event. Normally we assume we got angry because our colleague had crossed the line in that event. That may be true, but remember most of the time we become angry not because a belief was violated but because a belief was evoked. The colleague crossing the line in the morning event may be a belief violated – that is, your belief that colleagues do not have any right to make personal comments. Put that thought aside and start asking yourself what belief was evoked. Do you, somewhere in your mind, believe that you cannot handle clients well? And that belief was evoked by your colleague? Is that why you became angry?
As I said you will apply Root Analysis Technique without expecting answers. So you will just probe yourself and leave questions unanswered. Do this once a day for a few days and then suddenly you will find your answer popping into your head while you are doing something else.
The secret behind the success of the technique is that you are directing your subconscious into analysing the root cause for you instead of doing a conscious analysis. Conscious analysis may confuse you or lead you in circles without finding a definitive answer. Additionally, analysing our problem always creates anxiety in us and finding root causes in such a state can be futile. It is like desperately trying to remember a person’s name or a song’s lyrics. The harder you try more difficult it becomes. So instead you just do some basic digging, ask some questions and leave things at that. You will repeat this exercise for a few days. Just like the person’s name pops in our head when we are doing something else, we will find the answer to our questions coming when we least expect it. Not only that, when our subconscious mind finds answers, it also employs that data into changing our personality.
Once the answer – that is, the root belief for your anger – is given to you, the next step is to question that belief. In the above example, let us say the root belief is you think your PR skills are not so good and that is why you are unable to handle your clients well. And when your colleague commented on it this belief of yours was evoked and you showed anger in defence. Start questioning why and when did you acquire that belief. Repeat the Root Analysis – the process of digging, asking questions and leaving it at that. Repeat a few times across a few days and soon you will remember the reason behind this.
Keep doing this for as many trigger events that you find with Thoughts Retracement Technique and you will soon notice that your anger levels have drastically come down and you are better able to understand your own personality. You will be finding surprising truths about yourself and also you will find the ability to change them coming automatically. Many times most of the seemingly unconnected events that made you angry will have a common root belief many layers below in your mind.
In the last instalment of Anger Management, I will share with you another piece of knowledge that will help you remove your anger issues deeply and efficiently.