Watch out for our 7 Day live Reiki healing online for Chakra Healing on our Purple Room Healing youtube channel. Receive Reiki healing energies to heal and cleanse your chakras wherever you are by attending our Live Reiki broadcasts for seven days.
This is a live event that begins 27 August at 10 pm IST (check your local time here). Anybody who wishes to receive healing for their chakras can attend the event online.
Do attend our live session and do share with others. This event is FREE for all.
The 7 Day Chakra Healing dates are
Day 1: 27 August, 2018 at 10pm IST (check your local time here) Day 2: 28 August, 2018 at 10pm IST Day 3: 29 August, 2018 at 10pm IST Day 4: 30 August, 2018 at 10pm IST Day 5: 31 August, 2018 at 10pm IST Day 6: 01 Septemeber, 2018 at 10pm IST Day 7: 02 Septemeber, 2018 at 10pm IST
Sleep is a powerful restorative space with capacity to render such deep healing that, if allowed to do its job fully, we may never need the help of a therapist or counselors in our life. Here’s how you can let yourself heal during your sleep.
Sleep is a mystery in many ways. Where do we go when we are asleep? We are present physically but where does the rest of me go? How are dreams connected to the physical reality we live in? And why do I sometimes have dreams without me in it? Perhaps it is difficult to answer these questions. There may be many more mysteries about sleep that we may never satisfying solve. But we do know one thing about sleep for certain.
Sleep is a powerful restorative space with capacity to render such deep healing that, if allowed to do its job fully, we may never need the help of a therapist or counselors in our life.
Of course the problem is that we don’t let ourselves sleep well. We always go into conditional sleeping rather than restorative, natural sleep. A conditional sleep is a sleep with restrictions placed upon what it can do and what it cannot to us when we are asleep. Though, fortunately, we cannot entirely control what happens in our sleep we all still exercise certain influence over our restful states.
While some conditions are good, some are restrictive and stops the state from doing its job to the fullest. For instance in early childhood, we all unconsciously train ourselves to gain control over our bladders and bowels in sleep. This is good. On the other hand, after a series of nights haunted by nightmares, we unconsciously stress upon the need to filter out our dreams. For some it is unsuccessful and they have no control over their dreams and nightmares, while for others it works and they mostly have nightmare-free nights except during moments of crises in their waking lives. They may at best experience occasional dreams that are dreadful without reason or simply vaguely fearful and bothersome. In case of few others it may work too well that they never really remember a single dream as soon as they wake, some do not even know if they did dream at all. So with the help of our fears and our need to feel good mostly, we restrict or unconsciously monitor various functions of our sleep.
While there are many functions that sleep renders I’m going to focus only on its capacity to heal our daily stresses and even address our deeper psychological and emotional issues we carry within. Healing is an important function that our bodies and spirits need for our well-being. Yet it is also, perhaps, the most neglected. Our restful states have a natural capacity to clear out our stresses and repair our beings on a daily (nightly) basis but because of conditional sleeping those abilities are vastly underutilized. Of course, we can bring back our self-healing ability by exercises certain mental decisions firmly every night just before we fall asleep.
Stop Censoring Your Dreams
Our first job is to lift the conditions we’ve placed upon our dreams. None of us really know what dreams are exactly but we’ve all experienced moments of epiphany and self-realization, surfacing of hidden fears and desires, inspirational ideas and brilliant solutions through our dreams. There have been prophetic dreams and ominous warning dreams as well. Over time, we’ve learnt to censor which dreams should be remembered and which should be conveniently forgotten. We need to lift the dream monitor and trust our unconscious to protect and heal us. The simplest way to do this is to make a resolve to let all dreams that our subconscious/unconscious mind brings up in our sleep happen. Every night when you hit the bed, simply ask yourself if you are willing to see all that your subconscious and the unconscious part of being brings up in dreams. If you can give a resolute yes to that question, you’ve successfully lifted that restriction for that night. Do this every night and gradually you would have completely lifted the restrictions on your dreams. Don’t do this fearfully, don’t do this boldly. Do it open-mindedly.
Of course this does mean that you experience a wide variety of dreams like you use to have in your childhood but it also means that you can successfully move into states of sleep where dreams show you deeper aspects of yourself honestly.
Please note that those who experience energy drains accompanied by psychic messages in dreams need to shield their auras well before you lift the restrictions on dreaming. Learn a few good energy shielding methods and use them well.
Sleep When You Sleep
We do everything else when we go to bed except sleep. We worry, stress, hate ourselves, curse, cry, talk, bother our partners, have sex or shag, read books, browse the web, chat online, listen to music – in short engage in all sorts of mind chatter and sensory stimulation when we lie down to sleep. Stop. Disengage. Bedtime is not for that even though we’ve been doing it for ages and seems the most appropriate time to confess our fears and sins to ourselves and those beside us. The mind needs to be calmed when you go to sleep. Carrying our fears and plans into the sleep will only disrupt our sleep cycle and its healing capacities. There might be days or times when you simply cannot calm your head in the night. That must be an exception not the rule.
Of course, do not put effort to sleep either. People have driven themselves into insomnia trying hard to sleep. Sleep happens. All I ask of you is to disengage from mental activities. Put the books, mobiles and laptops aside. Leave your glasses on the bedside. Whenever you find yourself mulling over the day’s activities or over your shortcomings disengage once more without anger or irritation. Perhaps spend time watching your body relaxing. Feel the weight of it. Maybe watch your breath.
Simply have the intention to sleep. Disengage with the rest of the world. Remember sleep is another world altogether. It is a different consciousness perhaps. So disengage from this world. Sleep will happen; you don’t wait for it either. Just be. That’ll do the job. You’ll sleep when you sleep.
But be very firm. Years of habit of worrying and deliberating while lying down will insist that this one thought or problem is really important enough that you lose sleep over it. Disengage. Let sleep heal your mind and body first. And you’ll be surprised at the amount and depth of healing that happens when you let it.
When you sleep the restorative sleep, you’ll really begin to understand the depths of its capacity to heal and restore us both physically and spiritually. There are states of sleep that are profound for deep inner work, and to release our traumatic selves. It also makes our minds sharper and more alert.
Sometimes you may experience exhaustive days, but that’s just because your inner self is healing out a deeper damage within and needs some more rest. Just use some rejuvenating herbal teas and drink good amounts of water such days.
Sleep is a mystery. And every time we sleep well, we probe that mysterious state a bit deeper. And you’ll be surprised at what hidden gems you can uncover over time both within sleep and within yourself.
“Watch your thoughts, they become words; Watch your words, they become actions; Watch your actions, they become habits; Watch your habits, they become character; Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
My first brush with this profound statement was in my early school days. I fail to remember if I was formally introduced to it or I happened by it. Later, in one ‘Moral Science’ period our teacher lectured us on the meaning of this statement. It had a tremendous impact on me. Unfortunately the influence was a negative one.
The gist of the meaning (that our ‘Moral’ teacher gave us that day) was that we need to keep our thoughts in control else we would end up speaking them. We need to keep our tongue in check; else we would end up acting our statements out. We need to control our actions for otherwise they would become our habits and if we do not control our habits they will become our character. And finally our character will chart our destiny. So it all begins with controlling your bad thoughts. The phrase ‘negative thought’ wasn’t familiar to me back them; just good thoughts and bad thoughts. So “Do NOT have bad thoughts!”
That meaning could not have been any farther from the real meaning of the statement. Regrettably, I didn’t understand the statement any better that day and the ‘Moral Science’ class unwittingly sowed one of the early seeds of guilt and self-hatred in me.
I vividly remember trying to control my thoughts and words. To my despair, the more I tried to control the bad thoughts the more they seemed to pop like corn on stove. In desperation, I tried to investigate what bad thoughts were. That made things worse. As I delved to find out the bad, I ended up discovering more bad than I could think up of before. Creative exploration of how many more bad thoughts could I come up with given a situation became a compulsive mental stance. Finally I made some sort of temporary peace with my mind by accepting the thoughts and telling myself that this is how I was – different from others – and I simply needed to keep it a secret. But the inner guilt and self-hatred were quietly weaving away their garbs.
It was not until many many years later that I discover the real meaning of the statement and that too by accident. I had then shifted back to Chennai with my wife and had set up my Hypnotherapy practice there. By a quirk of chance, I had chanced upon Eckhart’s Power of Now and had begun a deep practice of mindfulness. It was a blissful period for me. I often used my walks and other routine activities to become mindful and present. So during one of those days, I walked to a nearby stationary-cum-xerox store to photocopy some documents. As the man and the machine hummed away, I simply stood there aware of my being and thoughts. And on the wall right across was an A3 size poster with the same sentence again staring at me. Standing there in mindful awareness, the profound meaning of the statement hit me in the face.
All that the statement ever asked of us was to simply watch. Observe. To be mindful. Not to control, condition, claim, manipulate, organize, or meddle in any other way but to simply be aware of thoughts as they happen.
Watch your thoughts. Be aware of them.
Notice your speech. Be aware of what you are saying.
Witness your actions. Just witness them.
Are you aware of your habits? Just be aware.
No judgment implied whatsoever. Nothing about good thought or a bad thought. Just a plain statement on watching one’s thoughts. No secondary meaning of holding your tongue or repressing your voice. Habits are so regular and ingrained into us that we hardly ever notice them. The statement simply asks us to know about our habits. To see them.
Every second statement is a simple statement of truth.
Watch your thoughts; they become your words.
Watch your words; they become your actions…
See how the spiral of waves move from subtle to gross, from thoughts to words, from words to grosser actions, from actions to habitual patterns, habits to character, and character to something both fine and gross at the same time – destiny. Like the spiral of a conch shell! So the statement also spirals outwards as a pointer to how things evolve – from within.
Such a profound statement!
But what is the use of it, if all it asks us to do is to watch without doing anything to stop us from becoming ‘bad’ or undesirable individuals?
Well the fear that we’d become ‘bad’ probably comes from our childhood programming where the statement was made in a very negative and tragic sense. “Control yourself, else you’ll suffer the consequences.” This makes the statement seems an affirmation of journey of a derailed life towards its inevitable destruction. But that’s not true.
The statement actually asks us to do something about it – in fact, it asks us to do something extraordinarily potent act. To watch.
Watching, as in simply being aware of something, being mindful, is a very powerful act. Suddenly in the state of awareness, we are pulled out of realm of judgments, desires and aversions. By becoming aware of ourselves we open up a field of possibilities beyond control and manipulation. We are not getting pulled into inferences and implications of our observed thoughts and actions. We are simply watching. The act of watching can simply dissolve our impulses to reaffirm (through desiring or denying) and anchor our behaviors in grosser patterns. Awareness helps dissolve the solidified and the crystallized. The truth is the power of awareness is best understood through experiencing it.
The statement also has nothing to do with age. It is never too late is something I’ve innately believed in and found to be true in most of my situations. Though I’ve come across the statement as a kid, I applied its wisdom only much later as an adult. And through application, I’ve come to realize that awareness is a natural aspect of life itself, a natural state of being and we can tap into it anytime we choose. And that awareness can become the key to unlock our potential to heal, to find peace, to discover who we are, and to be – to simply be.
Which emotions makes your personality come alive? This is a question that came to my sudden attention this morning as I was performing some household chores. Usually when I’m involved in routine chores, such as doing dishes or riding to a shop, I try to utilize the time for practicing mindful awareness but sometimes I lose myself in thought. These are the times when, as in meditation, subconscious matters that need immediate attention spring up in form of thoughts or emotions for me. I think this is the case for a majority of people.
So today as I was involved in chores, a set of imaginary situations where I was displaying righteous anger towards some people was running amok in my head. It took a while to become aware of it and I suddenly realized that this is one of the core emotions that makes my personality come alive – righteous anger.
And then I recollected another emotion that was doing the same function for me – deep melancholy, a kind of philosophical sadness or sometimes deep aching sorrow that racks my being. And then another emotion sprung to mind – delight – not the childlike innocent happiness, but a mischievous and empathy-blinding delight – the kind that elves are fabled to possess. I’m sure there are a few other emotions too that bring my personality alive.
So you realize by now that I’m not talking about the spiritual-type of aliveness here – the one that accompanies a very present awareness and gives a feeling of weightlessness and joy sometimes. I’m talking about when my personality or ‘me’ comes to feel it is really living the moment. The kind one might feel when partying or involved in experiencing our favorite emotions. The ‘hero’ of the story of my life.
When I become engaged in righteous anger, a part of ‘me’ really comes kicking alive. It feels like I’m really living my life – even though such anger is deep suffering. When I become deeply sad, I come alive. When I’m playing pranks or jokes upon others and roll in laughter the ‘me’ is alive. When I feel a deep sense of betrayal or victim-hood, I’m alive.
I don’t want to call the above emotions ‘negative’, because that is just a labeling we’ve come to give them after social and cultural evolution made them undesirable for a ‘stable civilization’. But we also know we cannot stay human without them. And they are also necessary emotions that help me take action, that help me get inspired, motivated, or get going.
The interesting aspect are not the emotions but the personality itself. These emotions make ‘me’ come alive and feel like I really exist and matter, on closer scrutiny, are also emotions that define me. In other words, the story has become the hero in many ways. I hope I’m expressing myself well here.
These emotions that make me alive because I’ve experienced them intensely sometime in my past (probably more than once) and since I’ve experienced them so deeply they have also added to the definition of my personality. So the events that evoked the emotions acutely for the first time have defined or re-defined the hero of the story. Hence the story is making the hero.
So what is personality in such a case, what is me? Am I a bunch of emotions and memories that strive to keep those memories and emotions alive? The reason why this question becomes important is because if we notice, our lives are a repeating set of emotions and circumstances. The events may be different but the circumstances and emotions that we come to experience are the same set. And every time we strive to keep those emotions from repeating, that very act is nudging us closer and closer to experiencing those emotions. And even though I hate some of these emotions, if they are making me feel alive then isn’t it desirable subconsciously for me to experience them again and again? For instance, if every time I become deeply sad and spend those moments defining philosophies of life and death, I’m deepening my set of values by those acts and hence also ‘me’. And I like that. I like to be seen as a philosopher, or a iconoclast or any other definition that I want to hashtag to my name. So now, in spite of not wanting to experience loss (because to feel sad I need to experience loss over and over), I am unconsciously moving towards it still because it makes ‘me’ me!
But in the last few weeks, I’m also able to see a certain hollowness in my ‘me’ emotions. I’m able to notice, partly only of course, the string of thoughts that are constantly spinning the tale of me even as I am experiencing these intense emotions. This is giving me a certain space from which to see these emotions and the story happen. This is happening probably because in the past few months I’ve had been serious about me and finally came to a point where I was taking myself so seriously that I’m seeing holes in the plot, the plot of ‘me’. Not that I’m able to take myself lightly now. Maybe that’ll happen eventually, I don’t know. But for now I’m able to get glimpses of the story/hero building as it is happening live. When I’m talking to someone, I can see how I’m using certain words or actions or emotions to nudge the events or people into my story or into hero-elevation that I’m seeking. The sense of emptiness that is behind this story-weaving process (that’s for another post). The interesting part is that I’m also able to see the story-building even in self-hatred that I carry.
Of course I can’t say that the personality or the ‘me’ is not important or is false. It may be false, but it is also required as of now because without it I cannot even make a choice to earn my living or do the works that I do. Unless there is a clear seeing that the ‘me’ is false, there cannot be a pretense towards the denial of my existing personality. I’m still getting angry, I’m still being sad, funny or many other things that I am for now. But knowing which emotions bring me alive is definite progress over simply getting lost into them.
So coming back to the original question now:
Which emotions makes your personality come alive?
Over the last few of years, I’ve been writing about my emotional and spiritual experiences as verses on Facebook and on other places. Some of them are about intense emotional experiences, some of them about my depression phase, some of them spiritual in nature, some about my mindfulness practice, and some about my seeking for meaning of life. Recently I’ve compiled them all at one place and edited about 70 of them into an ebook. This book is out on Amazon now. It can be downloaded to mobiles and tablets (through Amazon Kindle App), and to all Kindle reading devices.
Tomorrow and the day after (Nov 2 and 3) I have put up a promotional offer on the book, so it can be downloaded for free to your mobiles and kindle devices on those two days. Please make use of this if you are interested in reading the book. And if you find the book interesting, please leave a candid review on the Amazon page.
Here is a description of the book:
We all are on a pilgrimage towards our very being and existence. Constantly battling for everyday survival and yet on a quest to answer life’s vital questions. What keeps us moving in life? And what makes us dig into our past? What is it that makes us tick? Where is Life taking us? Once the seeker in us wakes up there is no going back! On one hand we are human in our emotions and aspirations, yet on an another, much deeper level we are sacred beings that is seeking the very source of its existence and a richer meaning of life. Who are we really?
This book of verses is an account of one such pilgrimage. Through personal hell and heaven in a search for the eternal. Through emotional ups and downs, through the metaphors of religions and the archetypes of Hindu Mythology, through the natural world and the valleys within, through the duality of existence and mindfulness of this moment, until the Dragon on a Trapeze emerges and the firefly in the Heart awakens!
When home wobbles like a top
And we find no sacred ground to stand firm
The dragon on a trapeze
Comes to the rescue
Would my head stop wobbling
Like a planet
Drunk with love and fear!
Can I slip out of this familiar orbit!
When I walk in silence
Amidst the falling leaves
And autumn sunshine
I see you
If the sun burns the heart,
The moon cleaves the mind,
And truth splits the tongue,
Then who fires the stomach?
When the juggler finally arrives
Will he paint a garish smile on my dead face
Or would he rekindle the joy and toss the corpse?
An oasis of hope in the desert of seeking
Let the duet end
And the dancers vanish
And let it be known
That all movement
Moving beyond depression is a bit like leaving the ruins of your house blown apart by a sudden explosion. It’s tough! You don’t want to. It makes a melancholic sense to hang on to the broken pieces, hoping that you can still piece things together. You see the ghost of the sorrowful self still lurking in the ruins, lurking behind bare brick walls, standing underneath gaping hole in the ceiling, staring at the starry night framed by naked, twisted steel rods sticking out of the shattered concrete. This ghost has seen the light through the explosion and wants to forever be lost among the ruined foundations.
And when you have realized the immense blessing that the depression has been, the sense of old self becomes a thick nostalgic fog that lingers in the throat. What you’ve lost doesn’t want to leave you entirely. What’s new is not wholly invited. There is such a sense of immense sacrifice that you’d want to cloak it around you as a new identity. You drag it around and display it to the world. But then one day you realize, it’s all done.
Your sense of former self has been blown to bits. The field day you’ve had sobbing in the ruins is done too. The bits don’t belong to you anymore. What happens to the ruins is no longer your concern. Sacrifice is not a virtue anymore. All that’s left is a beautifully broken mind, a seedling of heart sprouting new hope, and a world full of possibilities. Above all a deep sense of aliveness inside that can lead to renewal of innocence and a new song. The cloak is the skin that has been shed. The snake cannot carry it around anymore. There’s no point to it.
If one continues to wrap it around and live in the ruins, one becomes a ghost of the past, haunting places that don’t exist anymore except as fading, weather-torn ruins in time-divorced spaces of the mind. The ghost cannot desperately cling to the thick night to see the glowing light again. The ghost and night needs to pass. Gray needs to give way to purple, and purple to pink, yellow and orange. If you need to let out one last cry, do it now. Let the tears carry away the hopelessness and melancholy that you’ve made your home. And let the final sigh give birth to renewal.
The night is through. Walk out into the dawn. You don’t know what is out there. But then you never did. The child still learns to eagerly crawl, walk, and explore. Let’s not meet the future. Let’s meet this moment fully. Let’s meet each other fully. Let’s meet this world fully.
How often are we aware of our inner state of being?
Can we become aware of our emotions as they begin to arise, before they become a flood?
How do we monitor our daily thoughts and emotions?
How stressed and anxious are we in our daily routine?
Self awareness is a way of progress – both spiritual as well as material. Awareness of our inner state of being helps us identify and work through various phases in our lives. It helps us with keeping healthy relationships both with ourselves as well as with our loved ones.
Watching our thoughts can be a difficult and, at times, a most frustrating of endeavors. Luckily each of us have an anchor – the physical body. Our bodies not only help keep us grounded in the present moment but they are also perfect mirrors for all our thoughts – both conscious and subconscious.
Almost all of our body behaviour, be it a gesture, a movement, a posture, or an expression, is a reflection of our inner state of being. By learning to watch our body behaviour everyday, we gain access into the inner recesses of our emotional and mental states. We can become aware of our anxieties, our stress-related thoughts, our emotional tipping points, our inner fears and motivations. Over time, the practice can help us identify self-destructive and repeating patterns in which our lives sometimes seem to get caught in.
It also helps us have better interpersonal relationships as we learn to be more empathetic towards others around us because we can understand them beyond their spoken words and defensive behaviours.
IN THE WORKSHOP:
We will learn to observe ourselves and understand our gestures, postures, expressions, micro-expressions, and micro-gestures that we commonly exhibit in our daily routines.
We will examine various real life video footages of people to practically understand the body behaviour in various circumstances.
We will participate in discussions on moral/social/religious issues that can bring up various defensive and offensive gestures and behaviour in us. This will help us in watching our body behaviour as emotions and thoughts arise, flow and subside.
We will record and interpret videos of our introductions, discussions, and other physical activity we may participate in. In short, we deepen our awareness of ourselves.
25th March (Saturday) – 10 am till 6pm
26th March (Sunday) – 9am till 5pm
Participants will have to bring their own notebooks and stationary. If they want a copy of their recordings, then they are requested to bring their own usb drives on the second day.
*The workshop is limited to 8-10 participants only.
Gift Economy (you may pay from your heart whatever you are willing and able to)
Kiran comes from a background of therapy and healing. He is a Hypnotherapist and a Reiki Healer with an experience of about 5 years. He has been conducting workshops on Non-verbal Behaviour for about eight years now.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
Is this workshop same as a workshop on Body Language?
Body Language, of late, has come to mean manipulation of our body behaviour and appearance in order to project a false image of ourselves to gain advantage of a social or a professional situation. In such workshops we are encouraged to control and hide our original emotions and thoughts, and also to assume non-existent rapport with other persons for our own gain. Our workshop is different from it.
In fact, the opposite is encouraged here. An honest exploration of our body behaviour in order to unearth underlying emotions and thoughts is the focus of this workshop with a goal of eventual release of our self-limiting beliefs, fears, and blocked emotions.
Will I be taught how to better present myself in professional situations and impress others?
No. This workshop focuses on exploring our authentic selves beneath and beyond our social masks and images.
Who is eligible to participate?
Anyone with an interest in self-exploration and self-healing is welcome to join us. Age is no bar.
Can I control my emotions like anger and sorrow after this workshop?
When you say control, I am assuming you mean resolution. That is being able to resolve emotional issues. In that case, this workshop would be a good start, yes.
Here we learn to identify and become aware of our internal resistances and reactions. All ‘dark’ emotions start off as a resistance to an external situation and with body awareness we can identify them and examine the root causes of these emotions.
Awareness would be the emphasis of this workshop, since awareness is needed for any release/resolution. Do understand that in case of certain long-standing traumas and deeply blocked emotions you do need acceptance and surrender to your emotional state especially when the resolution/release begins.
There come many opportunities in a person’s life when they can choose to follow their hearts or continue living in fears and insecurities of the mind. We (Geetha and I) have passed through quite a few and perhaps there lie a few more ahead of us. Most of the times, our choice was of the heart but once in a while we let our fears cloud us and keep us in the same of loop of suffering. We are once more at one such juncture in our lives.
This time the choice was unhesitating and simultaneous for both of us. Now, we’ve both come to a clear realization that further and truer healing cannot happen with conventional therapy but rather through a deeper introspection and awareness. And stepping into pure present moment awareness means we cannot avoid stepping into the unknown that follows it immediately. And to do that we realized we simply have to put in more faith into the life within and trust it to take care of us. And we are doing that. We are going away together to explore and experiment in deeper and truer healing. And, as usual with our lives so far, the experiment is first on us. We didn’t have to go away to let this healing happen, but the moment the realization to heal deeper came for us the universe opened doors for a perfect space to heal!
As a result, we are both taking a long sabbatical and we are closing Purple Room Healing for the public. The leave is for at least six months. The blog and all its articles will still be available for you all. We are also opening a site and another blog to share our onward (and inward) journey and to write about the practice of awareness. We will announce them here soon once we have made the physical transition to our new home and personal healing space.
Thank you all clients and friends who made this journey with us. We learnt a lot from each of you and we hope each of you had equally benefited through the help we could extend.
“The only freedom we’ve got is not to react to anything, but to turn within and know the truth.” – Robert Adams
Anger and frustration are emotions of high energy. Unlike states like depression, these high energy emotions need immediate venting and they are hard to keep suppressed for long. We want to do something when we identify ourselves with those emotions. We become very impulsive and often do things that we regret later on.
In our attempts to healing them we usually overlook the intimate connection between a negative high and a positive high in an emotional cycle and the underlying principles that dictate both. And this ignorance, unfortunately, keeps us from healing ourselves. Let us look at what happens when we experience high-energy negative emotions like anger and compare them with certain, what we call, ‘positive’ emotions.
When we are angry or frustrated, we lend our whole being and identity to that particular emotion, which means there is a high degree of self-indulgence. We tend to become impulsive. We let the emotion dictate how we react to the circumstances and to the people around us, as well as with ourselves. Our actions and words are influenced by the emotion.
When we look at our ‘positive’ high-spirited behavior (which is our idea of having fun or being happy) the same principles that govern the negative emotions are being applied here too. We lend our identity to that mood or emotion, we indulge ourselves, we become impulsive, and we speak and behave under the influence of the emotion. Think of any activity that is fun for you. It could be hanging out with friends, becoming impish, eating, dancing, singing, sexual indulgence, etc. The external activity varies from person to person.
The reason why we fail to identify this is because we mistake positive high-spirited activity for happiness. Unfortunately it is not. More often than not, the ‘positive’ high-spirited activity is largely our desperate attempt at ‘filling’ our life with seeming happiness rather than actually happiness and contentment itself.
Please note that some of the same activities may be performed without it becoming your illusory positive high. You could involve yourself into dancing and reach a calm state of mind. That is not the illusory positive high that I am talking of. So how do we identify that illusory positive high emotion that leads to indulgence?
Look for exhaustion, tiredness, and a lingering unease and boredom. When we are engaged in indulgence that gives us an illusion of happiness and joy, we will also find it exhausting and draining – especially towards the end of the activity you will find yourself desperately and mechanically clinging to the activity but you are not really involved in it really. There sometimes is a sense of uneasiness and boredom towards the end. None of these side effects are seen when we are really content with lives – when we are truly happy.
Our body always looks to balance our energy levels. So a bout of high-energy activity will be followed by a period of low energy levels. Emotionally it could be a period of depression, lack of interest, and a sense of despair. It may not necessarily occur right after a bout of high energy activity. The duration of the period could even be weeks. So there could days or weeks of high activity followed by a few weeks of depression and despair.
Expecting to heal our anger while we continue to indulge ourselves in ‘fun’ is unrealistic. So does that mean we must cut down upon our ‘fun’ activities? Cutting down will not lead to healing; it will only cause a future outburst of excess indulgence. Unfortunately our culture tries to teach us self-control and suppression. Control and suppression is not a path of healing.
The only path to healing is by understanding the emotions and their underlying causes completely. For in deep observation and understanding the conditions for pain dissolve and we discover ourselves.
Hypnotherapy is one therapy that can help identify our habits of emotional highs and lows through regression techniques. Many a time, ‘seeing’ the whole of our past patterns alone helps us dissolve a large part of that habit subconsciously.
How many straight lines can we draw from a dot? Infinite. It means there is infinite number of viewpoints from which you can see a dot. How many straight lines can we draw connecting two dots? Only one. And this line can be further projected on any side of the dots to predict the occurrence of similar dots. This is funnel vision. As our mind connects similar experiences (dots) across time, it tends to project a future with narrowed possibilities and diminishing joy. Think of it as an inverted funnel place in front of our eyes, like eyeglasses, and we can see only through the small opening at the base of the funnel.
Funnel Effect is common to all of us and most of us fail to recognize its presence and effect upon our lives. Our minds have infinite capacities to bring to us (or take us into) those experiences that prove our existing beliefs. For instance, if a girl believes that all her romantic relationships would end in the man dumping her then that is all she will experience or fight against one relationship after the other. After a few relationships, she may form a new belief that all men are untrustworthy. And she then continues to attract herself into hands of such men. And if she chances upon a trustworthy relationship, her funnel vision can cause her to remain suspicious of the man in her life and can even end up in severing the relationship out of her inability to trust him.
What this girl, in this instance, fails to understand is that her first incident of heartbreak had become the base out of which she operated in the next experiences. Either she would want the same outcome if it makes her happy, or she would want to avoid the outcome if it had suffered her. The very pain has become a yardstick of measure for her. And even the very first experience could have been attracted due to an underlying feeling of undeservedness and poor self-image she had experienced in childhood.
The problem with this emotional approach is that the emotions can make a mere possibility seem a certainty thus creating an anticipation and preparedness – a narrowing of our vision. Naturally when the situation occurs we interpret it through our narrowed or filtered vision and give out prepared reactions only to regret later on. Sometimes the narrowed viewpoint is so strong that we may not even realize our misinterpretation for long.
Our rational mind is also not free from such bias or funnel vision. In fact, it can have more devastating effects in some cases. When a logical mind has to make predictions about an event, it always estimates possibilities based on past similar experiences in our lives or other’s. But all data from past is based not on reality but on the memory of the experience of the reality – either ours or of others around us. That’s like mistaking twice adulterated milk to be pure milk.
Another problem with rational mind is its blind reliance on science. There is an excellent dialogue from the movie Men in Black that beautifully illustrates this problem. Tommy Lee Jones makes this statement to Will Smith after Smith’s first experience with an alien being: “Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.”
A logical mind concludes often fails to understand what it ‘knows’ could be just one, its personal, version of reality and not the truth.
Logical mind kills joy because of its tendency to be too controlling. Emotional mind increases pain because of its tendency to indulge. Funnel vision causes this to become reality of the future. Think of it as series of dots joined by a line, only the mind did not just create the line but it even ended up creating the dot after dot in its life based on its past prejudices.
When experiences in our lives become our beliefs, we undergo a gradual narrowing of our vision and philosophy in our lives to such extent that all we get to experience of life is but a tiniest fraction of its wondrous spectrum of possibilities. We trace a path of suffering, struggle, and strife ahead of us and end up living it just because we assumed a possibility to be a certainty.
So how do we get rid of this funnel in front of our eyes? By first acknowledging its presence. Unless we know our vision is narrow, we will remain the proverbial frog in a well that thinks the well is the whole universe.
The second step is to learn to be in the moment instead of simply accepting the viewpoint our thoughts portray based on our past memories. We cannot stop the funnel vision from giving extremely convincing viewpoints. But we can stop ourselves from entirely believing the viewpoints and being open to the present moment as if it were our first experience. And that is also the truth. No matter how many times we may have experienced events similar to the current situations we are in, we have never experienced this moment before.
We can color this moment and make it as painful as the past with our complicit acceptance of the funnel vision. Or we can simply let every moment become a fresh experience by paying attention to this moment to see what we can experience this time. When we remain absolutely open to the moment, life can surprise us with new joys and experiences that we never had before. Deeper doors within us can open up making us more sensitive to the wonders of life. And this also serves to widen our visions and eventually get rid of the funnel effect altogether.
When a cat from one side of the earth is introduced to the other side of the planet, it can still very well communicate with cats there. It can express its annoyance, pleasure, needs, and displeasure with the ‘local’ cats as easily as it was a native there. So can dogs, birds, rats, monkeys, and probably all creatures on this planet – all except humans.
Humans are the only creatures on this planet that have a difficulty communicating in distant lands. With our language barriers we have truly made most parts of the earth ‘foreign’ to us. This raises so many questions. Why is this so with the most intelligent beings on the earth? Does that actually prove we are, after all, not as intelligent as we believe? And what then, is the true human language? And is there one?
Let us imagine ourselves in a past where humans were yet to invent spoken language. What do you think have been our mode of communication then? We probably used our bodies and the small range of sounds our throats could reproduce then. Have you ever tried communicating with just your body and ‘unintelligible’ sounds? (The reason why I put ‘unintelligible’ in quotes is because they aren’t actually unintelligible like we are led to believe). Try this out as an experiment.
The truth is we all communicate more with our bodies and ‘unintelligible’ sounds than with spoken language. But we have only consciously trained ourselves to listen and respond to constructed language. How often do you find an impression forming in your mind about a person as soon as you saw the person? Very often, if not, always. How are you able to do that?
Today this innate ability to communicate is largely ignored and a fraction of it is categorized under a topic called non-verbal communication and is taught in workshops. Most such trainings tell us about how to manipulate and create false impressions through use of body language in business and relationships space.
So why is it so important to tap into this innate communication ability? Because at the subconscious level our mind doesn’t think in English, or any of our native constructed languages! In fact, at a deeper level thoughts and actions (the execution of those thoughts) happen simultaneously. There is no inherent difference between them. Such a difference is only apparent at a conscious thought level.
We are constantly communicating our intentions, thoughts, and emotions through our bodies and other subtler means of communication and we are missing out on that large chunk of human communication. Animals, on the other hand, survive and thrive on that natural language system. And that is not an area where we can proudly boast of our superiority over other known creatures on earth. It makes us deeply disconnected with each other as well as our connection with the rest of the natural world around us.
How many times relationships go sour just because they people involved didn’t have an ‘open communication’? They didn’t ‘talk’ about it. How come there are no betrayals and heartbreaks in the animal world? That animals cannot feel love is not an acceptable answer. I am not saying constructed language is the problem. In fact it can even be a better solution. Would I be able to communicate all of this without a constructed language? One major problem is the neglect of our natural language of body and mind.
Today speaking through a constructed language seems natural. But think of it for a moment. Unless you learn the meaning of a word in a particular language can you understand when it is being used. How many times you found a language funny or ridiculous because you don’t understand the meaning of the words? Because stripped of its given meaning, it is just another random sound that the vocal chords have produced.
But how many times have you noticed a friend’s or family member’s face and immediately understood they weren’t feeling good? Natural communication is built into us that we often grossly neglect or misuse. I do not want to call this body language or non-verbal communication (though sometimes I do that for the sake of avoiding lengthy explanations). That sort of makes it sound secondary to primary communication. Of course that is true in today’s world of verbal communication.
The primary reason why I don’t want to use those terms is because what we teach or learn in the name of body language or non-verbal communication is barely a fraction of the natural communication ability we possess. Some of our communication systems are so disused that it needs a certain amount of working on them to bring them back to their full capacity.
Have you noticed that a lot of ego clashes in economic and social situations occur even before any words are spoken by the parties involved?
Think of this – how does a wild monkey know when to supplement its largely vegetarian diet with insects and rodents to maintain an adequate protein levels in its system? And how come we need a specialist using special equipment to tell us that same thing? How does a monkey or any other creature listen to and follow those signals within? This too is an area of communication – of body to conscious mind. This area of natural communication has been pushed into an area of intuition or spirituality and we stress the importance of outward learning through constructed language as the primary.
So is our true language is of the body and the mind? Probably. When you explore your mind and body systems deeper through observation of self, we find silence, strange as it might sound, is probably our natural communication system. Not the kind of pregnant silence that we find in embarrassing situations but a pure and absolute silence devoid of any meaning. They say the most successful communication happens when you listen. In absolute silence we gain an ability to really know what our bodies are telling us, and even what others are going through. This is also the space which spiritual saints say reveals our true nature to us, but that is another topic altogether.
Though all may not definitively accept the impact of natural language of body and mind over spoken and written language, none of us can deny its presence. And unless we learn to ‘tune’ into it and learn to understand its impact, we are losing out on a significant part of human communication and connection.
Try this simple exercise: Stand before a mirror. Looking at your image in the mirror and ask yourself if you can genuinely say yes to the following questions:
Can you completely accept the person you see in the mirror with all the person’s faults and limitations? Can you absolutely forgive the person in the mirror for all the sins and mistakes in the person’s past? Can you love that person unconditionally? Can you approve that person’s behavior and personality?
If you genuinely try this exercise a few times you will realize it difficult to say yes from the bottom of your heart to all of the above questions.
But try this exercise again with a small change.
Imagine that person in the mirror to be your brother, sister, a parent, a child, your best friend, or someone you love very much. Now ask the same questions above. You will notice you can now actually say yes to all of them quite easily and willingly.
Now look at the person in the mirror again and answer this following question:
How many times have you scolded or disapproved of that person for something or the other on the past? How many times have you become angry with that person in the past? If you verbalized your disapproval and anger you showed at yourself to another person say your brother, sister, a parent, a child, a friend or someone you love very much, would it not constitute abuse? Would it not be such worst abuse that you become legally punishable?
The answer in most cases is an ashamed yes.
Think back to all the times you hated yourself and shouted at yourself and you will know the answer for yourself.
We all carry an inner critic – a hard-to-please, strict disciplinarian. There is no pleasing this critic. The problem is in attempting it. Sometimes we hear it as the voice of our parent in our head, sometimes it is the voice of a neighbor, a peer, a boss, spouse, and at other times it is just our voice. We can forgive others for their shortcomings easily but we always are unforgiving perfectionists when it comes to ourselves. And that paves the shortest route to ruin and suffering.
Self Abuse is the most rampant of all issues and unless we can each learn to deal with our opinion of ourselves everything we do in our daily lives will only increase our insecurities.
Do the mirror exercise every day. Simply stand before the mirror and say that you accept the person in the mirror, forgive that person, affirm that you love that person, and approve of that person. Keep doing it until you can do it without any inner hesitation or emotions blocking you.
There are so many versions of mirror exercises out there in the web. In spite of the variations, the goal is same, absolute self-acceptance.
How would you know you have accepted yourself? When you notice you are no longer abusing yourself with mental, verbal, and physical self-destructive behavior. The day you stop chiding yourself for every small thing in your life, you have truly reached a state of self-acceptance. That day you will also notice a dramatic change in the way people around you treat you.
When people approach me for Hypnotherapy or Reiki Healing for any issue, this is one of the most common exercises we ask them to do. Self image is the area where most often root causes are revealed in regression sessions.
Reiki is a Japanese form of energy healing techniques that helps you heal various issues in your life. Learning Reiki Healing is easy and very effective to everyone. No previous healing or meditation experience required.
Learn Reiki to heal yourself, your family and friends or even become a full time Reiki Healer too.
Purple Room Healing is a holistic healing center with healing services in Reiki, Hypnotherapy, Past Life Regression Therapy and other healing therapies. We are conducting Reiki Level 1 & 2 Healing Workshop in Hyderabad on July 13th and 14th.
The workshop will be conducted by Reiki Master Geetha Pallavi R. She is a full time healer in Purple Room Healing since last four years and has extensive experience in healing through Reiki and other healing modalities.
The seats for this workshop are limited to 6 maximum because we perform only one-on-one attunements. We do not perform batch attunements. We give personal attention to each participant and make sure they understand all the basics of scanning, diagnosis, and healing for any ailment of the client. Medium of Language will be Telugu.
Please register early for seats tend to fill up fast. For details and registration call Kiran at 9394301400.
When people are in any kind of a relationship they start bonding to each other through energetic cords. Think of them as tubes of various sorts connecting one another. There are basically two kinds of cords. Soul level cords – these are cords of love and they cannot be cut. These are soul level connections which share just love between each other. They do not harm the person. The second kind of cords are personality or karmic cords – these are cords that can exert unnecessary influence on each other. They are formed willingly albeit subconsciously. They are formed out of repeated behaviour by the people in relationship or through one major emotional event. For instance, a mother who routinely blames a son for not being good to her and the son allowing those accusations to feed his guilt, forms a cord and the mother could (consciously or unconsciously) use it to manipulate her son. They are also called Karmic cords because they can indicate karmic debts coming from the past.
Each person can have any number of such cords in one relationship itself. Even with the relationship continuing, it is essential to cut these cords because they will make the relationship healthier. It is all the more important that cord cutting is done when the relationship ends.
Benefits of Cord Cutting
Cord cutting improves any relationship. It clears up unhealthy habits between people and helps them form healthier habits in the relationship.
Cord cutting can be done to improve any relationship – parent child, life partners, lovers, past relationships, ex boyfriend girlfriends, friends, sibling, boss subordinate, colleagues, classmates, teacher student, and any other relationships.
It heals you tremendously. You find a huge relief from the emotions you’ve been carrying because of the relationship.
You release a lot of pent up negative emotions that you have been suppressing and carrying around for sometime. Some times, it also releases emotions held up over years.
It clears blocks in relationship issue, especially in your love life. When single people go through many relationship issues in the past they form unconscious blocks and fears about life partners in their life and they start acting out of these fears from the past. This tends to ruin any good future relationship they can potentially form.
It helps you identify hidden motivations in relationships both within self and in others.
Cord cutting gives you the ‘breathing space’ you need. Your behaviour is no longer automatic or compulsive. You will find that you can now change your behaviour easily.
Procedure for Cord Cutting:
It takes about 20-30 min sometimes, so make sure nobody disturbs you for so long. Don’t do this after dark.
Step1 – Relaxation and Creating inner awareness.
Sit or lie down in some quiet place. Focus on your natural breathing.
Now slowly start deep breathing with your focus on your lower lungs and abdomen. Take ten deep breaths.
Follow that by 15 short rapid breaths. These breaths are quick, shallow, and without pause.
Observe the breathing come back to normal breathing.
Step 2 – Activating subconscious and Shielding
Now visualize yourself in a serene, beautiful garden. Make sure the garden has a water body in it like a lake, fountain, stream, beach, or a waterfall.
Take time to create the garden completely in your visualization. See the blue sky, trees, birds, flowers, fruits, grass – just take time to ‘feel’ the place.
Now imagine sitting in a calm space in the garden.
Imagine a bright beautiful golden yellow or white light in the sky directly above you coming down, and touching the top of your head.
Let the light enter your body through the top of your head and fill your entire body till the tip of your toes with this bright, beautiful, vibrant, tingling light.
See the light expanding into a bubble of protection all around you including under you.
Step 3 – Locating the ‘Feeling Centers’
Now call the person you want to cut cords with into the garden. See the person clearly coming into the garden and standing before you.
Notice your first feelings about her/him – all of them – both negative as well as positive.
Now observe where each of these feelings is beginning in your body. (Ask yourself ‘If this feeling was stored in my body physically, where would it be?’)
You will find that each feeling has a place in your body (like, for instance, hurt stored in your heart center, etc)
Give each feeling a color and a shape – whatever you feel like. (you can ask ‘If this feeling had a color and a shape what would it be like?’)
For instance, you may see hurt as dirty green ball in your heart center, you may see anger as a red monster attached to you at solar plexus, or you may notice helplessness as blobs of yellow on your hand – these are just examples. You can give any color and shape you feel like. Sometimes the moment you trace the feeling to place in the body you may instantly perceive it as some object or being.
Step 4 – Scanning and Locating Cords
Now visualize the other person also also in a beam of their own light from the sky and with their own bubble of protection.
Start ‘scanning’ the person from top of his/her head. Your intention is to look for personality or karmic cords of energies that connect both of you.
You may ‘see’ or ‘feel’ these cords.
When you see the first cord, make a note of where on his/her body is the cord beginning, follow that cord to see where in your body the cord is penetrating.
Now take time to notice the details of the cord – its thickness, what does it look like, is it brittle or flexible, all the details that strike you.
Now see if the energy flow in the cord is one way or both ways – that is, is this cord feeding energy from one person to another only, or is this cord used by both to cross feed each other.
You may remember some past events when you are doing this, you may find certain emotions coming up sometimes. If that happens, just make a note of it.
Locate all cords between you and the other person.
You may notice many cords are end or begin at ‘feeling centers’ that you located earlier.
Step 5 – Cutting Cords
Once you have located all cords between you and the other person, you proceed with energy negotiation and cord cutting.
Move to the first cord you found.
If the energy is coming from her/him to you, ask yourself if you still feel a need to accept that energy or emotion from her/him. Only when your answer is a firm no can you really cut the cord. Otherwise, it means you are not yet ready to cut the cords. Even if you attempt it, in such a case, the cord will reconnect itself back.
When the answer is a firm no, you should see the flow of energy coming from her/him through the cord stopping immediately.
Now tell her/him that she/he needs to stop sending that energy to you. Tell her/him that your karma to accept those energies is complete and any energy she/he continues to send, if it bounces back to her/him, then it is of no karmic consequence to you since you have no intention of affecting her/him. It is her/him own doing.
If the energy is going outwards from you, ask yourself what emotion or influence from you is feeding that person. You will instantly get an answer. You may again remember an event of the past or a particular emotion coming up strongly within.
Ask yourself, if you are ready to let go of the need to influence the other person with these energies of yours. The answer should be no again. If the answer is yes or if you feel hesitant, look back at the suffering you are undergoing for still being connected to her/him. This can convince you to let go.
Once again, when you answer with a firm no, you will see the energy flow from you to the other person stopping instantly.
If the energy flow is two way, then you will naturally do all the above steps.
Only when you see the energy flow stopping, will you proceed to cut the cords.
There are a few ways to cut the cords. You should choose whichever feels right for each cord. I am listing couple of methods here. You may intuitively feel other creative ways to remove the cord connection.
You can request a sword or shears (large garden scissors!) made of light to cut the cords. You will find the requested tool coming to you from the light above.
Use it to cut the cord as close to your body as possible.
Now request for a ball of light and you will find a small ball (about the size of an apple) coming from the light above.
Rub that ball at the place on your body where you have cut the cord.
Notice this light sealing off the ‘hole’ left behind on your body after cutting the cord.
Proceed to do the same steps with the other person in cutting the same cord. So you will cut that cord from the other end by the same procedure above.
Yes, you need to cut the cord from the other person’s end too no matter how much you dislike the other person. You do this because the cord that is cut needs to be destroyed.
If the other person feels the need for the same cord, they will form another with somebody else but not you.
This also helps you get rid of cords of resentment easily. For anger and resentment are also means of attachments.
Cleanse and seal their body with the ball of light.
Destroy the cord by burning it. See the smoke and ashes pulled up into the sky through a third beam of light. This is not the beams of light that is on your or on her.
Proceed to cut all the remaining cords similarly.
Here you uproot the cord out of the body instead of cutting it. That’s the only difference.
This is done if you feel any particular cord has ‘grown into you’ and has roots within.
Hold the cord with both the hands as close to the body as you can.
Visualize white light forming around the roots of the cords within so they help to ‘slide the roots out’.
Pull the cord out of the body slowly.
Notice the roots sliding out gently. Pull until the cord is uprooted completely.
If any roots are broken and left within the body, request the light above you to dissolve the root completely and flush it out of your either into the ground below or by sucking it up into the light.
Follow the cleansing and sealing with the ball of light as described in Method 1 above.
Do the same for the other person.
Destroy the cord by burning it. See the smoke and ashes pulled up into the sky through a third beam of light. This is not the beams of light that is on your or on her.
Proceed to cut all the remaining cords similarly.
Step 6 – Finding Hidden Cords
When people send psychic energies out of, conscious or unconscious, malevolent intent or a desperate need to cling, such cords may not show up in the regular scan.
Just to make sure there are no such hidden cords, visualize a beam of violet light falling in between you and other person you want to cut cords with.
Visualize this light expanding outwards towards you on one side, and him/her on the other until finally you both are under this huge beam of violet light.
Any hidden cords will instantly show up in this violet light.
Go ahead and follow the usual procedure to identify, describe, stop the energy flows, and cut these cords too.
Step 7 – Healing ‘Feeling Centers’ and Leftover Energies
This is an important step. You will be healing the ‘Feeling Centers’ that you located earlier as well as any energy you may have already absorbed through the cords into you before they were cut. As I said, many cords would enter your body at the ‘feeling centers’.
After you cut the cords, go back to the place where the first cord was and ask yourself if any energies that you may have absorbed (through the cord before it was cut) is still within you.
If there are any left, give those energies a colour and shape just like you did for the ‘feeling centers’ earlier. You are creating a visual form for the energies. Sometimes you may intuitively feel the form readily.
Ask the light above to dissolve this energy and cleanse it out of you.
You may notice the light dissolving the energy into smoke and sucking it up into the sky.
Continue healing all the leftover energies for all the cords you cut.
Now go to the remaining ‘feeling centers’ and do the same.
If you find it difficult to heal any remaining ‘feeling centers’, then it means you still want to hold on to that emotion you feel there. Try to see various viewpoints as to why it is good for you to let go of that emotion. Only when your intention to let go is firm, can you fully heal.
Step 7 – Final Shielding
Ask the other person you cut cords with to go away and live his/her life peacefully. See him/her leave the garden.
Connect fully with the light above. See it flowing into you through the top of your head. Absorb the light fully into your every pore and aspect of being.
Request the light to do a final clean up to remove all leftover fragments and pieces of energies which may have been overlooked or left behind.
Request the light to ‘fill up’ all the empty spaces where the ‘feeling center’ energies or leftover energies had been.
Feel the energy of the light filling your whole being. You may get a tingling sensation while this happens.
Now visualize this light expanding around you again into a ball of powerful shielding. It should expand at least three feet away from you in all directions including under you.
Spend about a minute of awareness on this beautiful and peaceful ball of light.
Take a deep breath. Open your eyes.
Exercise to follow post Cord Cutting
Do this exercise the next 21 days after the cord cutting is done.
Visualizing a ball of light around you at least three times a day. Those visualizations need not be as strong as they were when you did the cord cutting meditation. But nevertheless, just do it. This will strengthen your aura and increase your protection.
Sometimes we notice people you cut cords with suddenly try to contact you within 48 hours of cord cutting. Even people who you have had lost touch with too. If such a thing happens in the next 48 hours after cord cutting, keep away from showing any sympathy or empathy towards the person or his/her plight. It is sometimes seen that the person you cut cords with will feel a ‘pull’ to connect back those cords and they try that, unconsciously of course, through appealing to the emotions of the person who cut the cords.
Forming new cords is as easy as cutting cords. Cord cutting clears up negative energy within. But it is now up to you to replace that space with positive thoughts, and behaviour patterns. Otherwise cords reform easily.
What it means is that after cord cutting, your behaviour in that relationship is no longer programmed, or out of control, or habitual. You have control over your responses and you must choose a positive response now to replace the old one.
Examine your needs which made gave you the fears and unhealthy behaviour in the first place. Every relationship is based out of a need to fulfil some internal lack. That lack is always related to self-image. Ask yourself what impulses or lacks motivated you to seek such unhealthy relationship or behaviour in the past. Start working that lack instead of seeking to fulfil from outside.
We hope this article will come in useful on your self-healing journey. You can always find this article from our archives by clicking on the ‘Self Help’ tag or category.
Purple Room Healing is conducing Reiki Level 1 and 2 Workshop in Chennai on this 25th and 26th of May(Saturday and Sunday), 2013.
Reiki is a Japanese form of Holistic Healing System where the Reiki Healer channelizes healing energies into the client to heal an assortment of issues. Reiki also promotes general and spiritual well-being of a person, improves health, relieves stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety are the root causes for many ailments physical, mental as well as emotional.
Attunement by Reiki Master in Level 1 makes you a Reiki healer and you can start healing yourself and others through hands-on healing method. In level 2 your Reiki flow is improved and you gain the ability to do distance healing – wherein the client need not be physically present for a healing session. Reiki is a wonderful tool to heal yourself, your family, friends, and others.
Those interested may call Kiran @ 9500117031 for registration. No spot registrations. Please read the Reiki FAQs before you call so you can be clear on what is Reiki and if it is suitable for you.
The number of participants is limited to 6 only for we perform one-on-one attunements. Please register early.
Imagine this: A poor lonely girl sitting alone by herself on a starlit night full of sorrow and suffering. She is quietly weeping for herself and her pitiable condition. She has nobody to talk to and everybody around her is treating her badly including her family. She hopes somebody would come to her aid. She is yearning for her prince and savior to come along and save her from her plight. Someone who would love her with all his heart and make her worthy of her life. This is the Cinderella Syndrome.
We all know the Cinderella story. The poor fatherless girl mistreated by her step-mother and made to scrub the floor all day. She yearns for a better life and weeps all night long. One day her step-sisters go to the ball at the palace. Cinderella wishes she could go to the ball too. And lo, a fairy godmother appears and turns Cinderella’s rags into a lovely dress, and rats and pumpkin into horses and a chariot. Cinderella dances with the prince at the ball who is taken by her beauty. By the hour of midnight, heeding the warning of the Fairy godmother, Cinderella rushes out of the ball leaving behind her glass slipper. The prince has his staff search for the girl whose foot would fit the glass slipper. Cinderella’s foot fits and she is married to the prince, and she lives ever after.
The Cinderella Syndrome is a real life situation of a fatherless girl who was unconsciously playing the Cinderella for real. Unfortunately, Cinderella stories don’t end well in reality. This girl had prince after prince coming to her rescue but they would then eventually desert her and go.
This happens because her mind had to survive her identity which she formed of herself from early childhood. And that identity was that of a lonely, suffering girl who is hurt by near and dear again and again. Once the mind forms an identity for the person, its goal is to keep it alive – to keep both the body and the identity alive. So for this girl, in spite of yearning and manifesting princes into her life, her mind has to still keep her lonely and suffering, hurt by near and dear. Now the near and dear also include her romantic relationships. Yet her desperation to get out of the situation is also real.
So she battles with herself endlessly. She manages to attract guys who would take advantage of her desperation and then dump her. She would be left once more the poor Cinderella. After a few repeated such incidents she has a fear of relationships which all the more helps her to remain the suffering Cinderella.
Real life Cinderella is helpless by choice, derives melancholic enjoyment of her loneliness, noble in her own view due to her uncomplaining (not entirely) suffering. Her self-pity, self-hatred, and her pride keep her remaining that way.
There is only one way for real life Cinderellas to get out of this miserable loop – to decide not to be a Cinderella in the first place. They need to give up their life story. They need to look beneath the voids they carry within to find out their true self. The Cinderella Syndrome is an addiction to pain.
Most real life Cinderellas carry a deep void within. They wait for an outside hero to come and fill that void. This is their second mistake. The first and their biggest mistake is in assuming they are the void within. Instead of trying to fill the void, they need to question the reality of the void they carry within. Is she the identity she formed in her childhood? Or is she somebody else? Can she, as a life, survive if that identity is snatched away from her? The day real life Cinderellas can give a yes to the last question, they can effectively come out of their troubles and heal their lives.
The recommended times are for getting the best out of this method. They are not mandatory. In fact, I recommend you not to take up all the below at once. That will simply become a burden to you and that will motivate you to give up the meditation practise.
I personally follow these and I do not meditate for no more than two minutes maximum each time. And I increased the frequency of this practise after I fell in love with the meditation, not before.
As soon as you wake up– this is especially good because it can have a great influence over your entire day.
In the toilet – this again is another time of the day where our thoughts and emotions then can affect the whole day. Just a few minutes of this meditation here will help us greatly.
During travel (if you are not operating the vehicle) – this is one of the best times, I’ve found, to meditate. In fact somehow it is easy for me to meditate while sitting in the bus or train. After this technique, I personally began to prefer travelling by bus or train over driving myself because it gives me a long time to meditate. Especially while returning from a day’s work, this meditation in bus has tremendous benefit. There is an immediate flushing of stress and anxiety which I used to carry from work to home.
Before beginning a work – I have found this to be another huge benefit. When you are able to move into ‘being in the moment’ before you start any work, it gives you the calmness as well as the presence of mind required to handle the task effectively. In fact, I found this even improved my performance.
Immediately after eating – If you do this over a few weeks, you will even gain an amazing ability. You will be able to tell if the food that you just consumed is good for you or not. Body has a great ability to communicate what it wants and what it can’t digest. But we never listen. This technique helps you gain back that listening habit. Not only will your stomach tell you if the food you ate is good for you or not, but if you ate something that is particularly not so suitable for your constitution, the few minutes of this meditation after food actually helps reduce the discomfort or indigestion problem. Of course, that does not mean you can continue to eat whatever you like and use this technique like some antacid tonic. When your body communicates, listen to it. Try to avoid that food stuff in future.
Evenings when free – This is the time when I practise this for a slightly longer time like about ten to fifteen minutes. Sometimes, if I find time, I do this in the mornings instead. This helps me become more anchored in that state of peace and calmness, and also helps me get into this practise easily even during most stressful times in the day.
Before going to bed – I sleep with this technique. It will soon help you fall asleep faster.
Getting the Best Out Of This Meditation Practise – Meditation Tips and Advice
Enjoy the meditation – Just be and you will quickly fall in love with this meditation. Whenever you are being in your body, you will find a certain peace and calmness in it.
Let it grow upon you – Let the meditation grow upon you not the other way round! Do not try to overwhelm yourself with doing this too many times in the beginning. You are trying to acquire a habit of regular meditation. And anything that you dislike or are trying to force upon self can be tough to become a habit.
Take it easy – If you take this meditation too seriously (instead of enthusiastically) you are only adding to your stress. Remember you are trying to find peace out of this meditation. The more desperate you grow the less likely you will find peace. Just take it easy.
Skip once in a while – Take a break when you feel like it. The importance of peace and calmness is felt more in its absence. Don’t be a stickler to punctuality and discipline. If you enjoy the meditation it will become a part of your daily routine quickly enough.
Don’t try too hard – Once in a while you may find it difficult to move into the ‘here and now’ when you are too stressed out or emotional. Don’t try hard. With enough practise during other times you will soon, within weeks, reach a state where you can go into the meditation even during high stress.
Don’t empty mind – Again the emphasis is to be your posture and thus enter this moment. Not on emptying your head of thoughts. There is no need to change your thoughts. Move your focus from them to your body.
Stay on the goal – As you become more practised in this meditation technique, you will find some interesting latent abilities of yours getting activated. For instance, sometimes when I am doing this meditation, I become aware of the mood and thoughts of people around me. Stay with the goal. And the goal is to gain peace and be stress-free. If you start pursuing this meditation for the sake of latent powers you will lose both peace as well as the powers.
Experience this moment – Each time you do this meditation you may have a different experience. The goal is to be the posture and experience this moment as it is. Do not try to reproduce the experience of your previous meditations. That is where you can get lost and lose peace.
Do it as you are – Do not try to assume special postures for the meditation. Just move into the posture you have at the moment. Of course you can adjust a limb or two for the sake of convenience. Sometimes you can also realign your posture as a physical way of ‘gathering your mind’. Special postures or asanas can restrict the places and times when you can practise this meditation.
In the last posts (Part 1 & Part 2) I discussed about mental health and the most important time of the day where your emotions and thoughts can set a trend for the day. This post let me share with you a very simple meditation method that will help you reduce stress and anxiety dramatically in your daily life. It can also help you become attain peace and calmness if you practise it every day.
The very word meditation sometimes puts us off. We have, at least some of us, have tried in the past various meditation techniques and have failed to achieve the consistency in practise. Two most important obstacles were time and achieving concentration. We either did not have the time to put aside for the meditation. Some meditation techniques demanded a particular time of the day be set aside for it, especially like early mornings which turn out to be particularly difficult for those who are night birds. Some meditation methods insisted on long durations of practise – sometimes even an hour out of our daily routine. The other reason why we give up a few other meditation techniques is because of its demand of nearly super human single minded concentration which seems to be more difficult than time. Just when we want to empty our minds that all sorts of silly thoughts come into our heads.
The meditation technique which I am sharing is neither time consuming nor requires inordinate amounts of mental concentration. You don’t even need to practise it at a regular time too. In fact, the efficacy of this meditation technique lies in practising it everywhere and anywhere you can.
The technique is deceptively simple. All you need to do is to simply move your awareness into your body and this moment. Let me explain how to do that.
First of all, you do not have to assume any meditative posture for this. Doing that can help you initially if you are used to practising meditations, but otherwise it’s not necessary. Again the best benefits of this technique can be extracted if you do this anywhere in any posture.
Simply begin by watching your posture. This can be done either by closing your eyes or with your eyes open. The goal here is to bring yourself, your mind I mean, into this moment and to ground yourself. It means you are bringing yourself here and now. Becoming aware of your posture or physical presence is an easy way to do this. Be like this for a while.
Become aware of your body from the inside. It means you are going into being the posture. See, all postures are actions like sitting, lying, standing, resting, etc. So go into that doing. Be it. Be the sitting person, be the standing person, or be whatever your posture is doing right now. Do not be deceived by the simplicity of this technique. Try it and you will find tremendous results.
The Thinking Mind
Well, what about the mind? You do not have to empty your mind. Just watch it. Do not try to clear your mind. Neither do you try to hang on to a particular thought. Just let them be – in the background. Your awareness is into your posture. Into being.
It means you are letting your mind be what it wants to be and YOU are going away from it. Yes, you and your mind can be separated like that. By ‘you’ here I mean your awareness. So simply let your thoughts be, let your mind be.
What you are doing is letting everything be. You are not trying to change anything. You are moving into the being of the moment. So, like I said, it does not require extraordinary consciousness. Just plain awareness. It’s easy.
Time and Duration
You can do this meditation anytime and anywhere. And you can do this for any duration ranging from just a few seconds to an hour too. In fact, I would not recommend that you do this for longer duration at a set time of the day like other meditation practises. The efficacy of this technique lies in its time flexibility.
I have noticed that in meditation practises people tend to get the best benefit out of it during their early days of practise and then gradually the benefits seem to disappear. The problem is not with the technique but in our ability to compartmentalize our daily routine. We usually stop the benefits of meditation influencing us in the rest of the day after the meditation. In the beginning days of practise, we are so motivated that we feel the lightness, joy, calmness, or peace that we gained during the meditation all through the day. After the initial motivation wanes, we tend to go back to our worry patterns and even the meditation seems to become a burden at times. So what peace we gain during the meditation practise seems to fade within ten minutes of getting up. Yes, any good meditation practise can change that and affect our whole life positively in a long term practise. But that again takes us back to our initial problem of consistency in practise.
So the best way to gain benefit out of this practise is to do this meditation just about two or three minutes or less and do it number of times per day. As you do not have a restriction of posture and you don’t even have to close your eyes for this meditation, it makes it easy to practise this meditation just about anywhere. While sitting in the office or the class during a break, while travelling (if you are not driving, of course), during brief periods of waiting, in the toilet, just after eating. Read the next part here for some best recommended times that can provide greatest benefit out of this technique.
Benefits of Meditation
The first thing that you will notice is the flushing of stress and anxiety. An instant calmness will come over your body and mind as you become aware of them. When you move into the posture and be the posture, what happens is that you are letting go of your identity with your thoughts. You are not stopping the thoughts, but are not attaching yourself with them anymore. Again, the goal is to move into ‘here and now’. Be only in this moment. Any thoughts about the next moment let them be. Just watch them. Don’t try to change them.
This technique acts a vacuum cleaner for stress and emotions. What I mean is that it can effectively stop stress and bothersome emotions from affecting other areas of your life. So when you practise this regularly, you stop carrying emotions across different areas of your life. Stress of your personal life will not affect your professional area. And vice versa.
Due to its flexibility, this technique can be incorporated in your daily life far easily than other longer methods. Of course you can continue any other meditations and Kriyas that you are already doing or intend to take up. In fact, this practise will aid you in other mind management or spiritual techniques.
A constant state of peace will become yours when you pepper this practise along the entire day. You will notice that you are able to look at problems in their proper perspective and proportion. In fact you will even be able to deal with tougher issues with a presence of mind. Worry becomes lesser.
Successfully end this year by becoming a Reiki Healer. Set your own spiritual path by learning this self healing technique.
A personalized Reiki Healing Level 1 and 2 Workshop is being conducted at our premises in Besant Nagar (Near Adyar), Chennai on this 29th and 30th of December, 2012 (Saturday and Sunday). Personalized workshop means the number of seats are limited to maximum 6 people only. The attunements are done one-on-one. No group attunements. Ample time for practice in the workshop. Lunch is provided by us at the premises during the Reiki classes.
Reiki is a Japanese form of Alternative Healing System where the Reiki Healer channelizes healing energies into the client to heal an assortment of issues. Reiki also promotes general and spiritual well-being of a person, improves health, relieves stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety are the root causes for many ailments physical, mental as well as emotional. More about Reiki Healing and Reiki FAQs.
Introduction to Japanese Gasho Meditation Introduction to Energy Healing and Body Mind Connection (Holisitic Healing Methodology) Basics of Chakra System, Aura, and Higher Self Hand Positions for Reiki Self Healing Reiki Attunement by Reiki Master Hand Positions for Treating Others Aura Scanning Technique Cord Cutting Technique for self protection Practice on Self Healing Hands-on Practice on one another
Introduction to Symbols of Advanced Healing Use of Symbols Beaming Reiki to others Reiki Level 2 Attunement Introduction to Spirit Guides Energy Clearing Techniques Detecting and cleansing energies attached to houses and places. Cleansing Crystals with Reiki How to give a Full Treatment for a Client Reiki Box for Healing many issues at a time
Attunement by Reiki Master in Level 1 makes you a Reiki healer and you can start healing yourself and others through hands-on healing method. In level 2 your Reiki flow is improved and you gain the ability to do distance healing – wherein the client need not be physically present for a healing session. Reiki is a wonderful tool to heal yourself, your family, friends, and others.
Those interested may call Kiran @ 9500117031 for details & registration. No spot registrations. Please read the Reiki FAQs before you call so you can be clear on what is Reiki and if it is suitable for you.