Simple Meditation Technique to deal with Anxiety and Stress – Part 1

You do not need special places, timing, or even postures for effective meditation.
You do not need special places, timing, or even postures for effective meditation.

In the last posts (Part 1 & Part 2) I discussed about mental health and the most important time of the day where your emotions and thoughts can set a trend for the day. This post let me share with you a very simple meditation method that will help you reduce stress and anxiety dramatically in your daily life. It can also help you become attain peace and calmness if you practise it every day.

The very word meditation sometimes puts us off. We have, at least some of us, have tried in the past various meditation techniques and have failed to achieve the consistency in practise. Two most important obstacles were time and achieving concentration. We either did not have the time to put aside for the meditation. Some meditation techniques demanded a particular time of the day be set aside for it, especially like early mornings which turn out to be particularly difficult for those who are night birds. Some meditation methods insisted on long durations of practise – sometimes even an hour out of our daily routine. The other reason why we give up a few other meditation techniques is because of its demand of nearly super human single minded concentration which seems to be more difficult than time. Just when we want to empty our minds that all sorts of silly thoughts come into our heads.

The meditation technique which I am sharing is neither time consuming nor requires inordinate amounts of mental concentration. You don’t even need to practise it at a regular time too. In fact, the efficacy of this meditation technique lies in practising it everywhere and anywhere you can.

Move into this moment using your body. Now is where Peace is.
Move into this moment using your body. Now is where Peace is.

The Technique

The technique is deceptively simple. All you need to do is to simply move your awareness into your body and this moment. Let me explain how to do that.

First of all, you do not have to assume any meditative posture for this. Doing that can help you initially if you are used to practising meditations, but otherwise it’s not necessary. Again the best benefits of this technique can be extracted if you do this anywhere in any posture.

Simply begin by watching your posture. This can be done either by closing your eyes or with your eyes open. The goal here is to bring yourself, your mind I mean, into this moment and to ground yourself. It means you are bringing yourself here and now. Becoming aware of your posture or physical presence is an easy way to do this. Be like this for a while.

Become aware of your body from the inside. It means you are going into being the posture. See, all postures are actions like sitting, lying, standing, resting, etc. So go into that doing. Be it. Be the sitting person, be the standing person, or be whatever your posture is doing right now. Do not be deceived by the simplicity of this technique. Try it and you will find tremendous results.

The Thinking Mind

Just become aware of your thoughts. No need to control them or suppress them.
Just become aware of your thoughts. No need to control them or suppress them.

Well, what about the mind? You do not have to empty your mind. Just watch it. Do not try to clear your mind. Neither do you try to hang on to a particular thought. Just let them be – in the background. Your awareness is into your posture. Into being.

It means you are letting your mind be what it wants to be and YOU are going away from it. Yes, you and your mind can be separated like that. By ‘you’ here I mean your awareness. So simply let your thoughts be, let your mind be.

What you are doing is letting everything be. You are not trying to change anything. You are moving into the being of the moment. So, like I said, it does not require extraordinary consciousness. Just plain awareness. It’s easy.

Time and Duration

Do it anywhere you want. without any special postures or asanas.
Do it anywhere you want. without any special postures or asanas.

You can do this meditation anytime and anywhere. And you can do this for any duration ranging from just a few seconds to an hour too. In fact, I would not recommend that you do this for longer duration at a set time of the day like other meditation practises. The efficacy of this technique lies in its time flexibility.

I have noticed that in meditation practises people tend to get the best benefit out of it during their early days of practise and then gradually the benefits seem to disappear. The problem is not with the technique but in our ability to compartmentalize our daily routine. We usually stop the benefits of meditation influencing us in the rest of the day after the meditation. In the beginning days of practise, we are so motivated that we feel the lightness, joy, calmness, or peace that we gained during the meditation all through the day. After the initial motivation wanes, we tend to go back to our worry patterns and even the meditation seems to become a burden at times. So what peace we gain during the meditation practise seems to fade within ten minutes of getting up. Yes, any good meditation practise can change that and affect our whole life positively in a long term practise. But that again takes us back to our initial problem of consistency in practise.

So the best way to gain benefit out of this practise is to do this meditation just about two or three minutes or less and do it number of times per day. As you do not have a restriction of posture and you don’t even have to close your eyes for this meditation, it makes it easy to practise this meditation just about anywhere. While sitting in the office or the class during a break, while travelling (if you are not driving, of course), during brief periods of waiting, in the toilet, just after eating. Read the next part here for some best recommended times that can provide greatest benefit out of this technique.

Benefits of Meditation

The meditation can help you remain peaceful and calm all through the day easily.
The meditation can help you remain peaceful and calm all through the day easily.

The first thing that you will notice is the flushing of stress and anxiety. An instant calmness will come over your body and mind as you become aware of them. When you move into the posture and be the posture, what happens is that you are letting go of your identity with your thoughts. You are not stopping the thoughts, but are not attaching yourself with them anymore. Again, the goal is to move into ‘here and now’. Be only in this moment. Any thoughts about the next moment let them be. Just watch them. Don’t try to change them.

This technique acts a vacuum cleaner for stress and emotions. What I mean is that it can effectively stop stress and bothersome emotions from affecting other areas of your life. So when you practise this regularly, you stop carrying emotions across different areas of your life. Stress of your personal life will not affect your professional area. And vice versa.

Due to its flexibility, this technique can be incorporated in your daily life far easily than other longer methods. Of course you can continue any other meditations and Kriyas that you are already doing or intend to take up. In fact, this practise will aid you in other mind management or spiritual techniques.

A constant state of peace will become yours when you pepper this practise along the entire day. You will notice that you are able to look at problems in their proper perspective and proportion. In fact you will even be able to deal with tougher issues with a presence of mind. Worry becomes lesser.

The second part of this post gives you some best recommended times to practise this meditation as well as more useful tips to get the most out of this meditation practice. Read the second part of this post here.

Suggested Readings:

How much time do you spend for your mental health? – Part 1

How much time do you spend for your mental health? – Part 2

Simple Meditation Technique to remove Stress and Anxiety – Part 2

Frustration: The Shortcut to Failure


Photo Courtesy: adamr, digitalart, Ambro @


How much time do you spend for your mental health?

Meditation is a good stress busting activity
Meditation is a good stress busting activity

We are all worried and concerned for our physical health. Even though many of us fail to exercise regularly, we still keep an eye on the physical health issues. Though physical health is also a vastly neglected area of our lives, we still think about it once in a while. We diet, join yoga, go for walks or think of doing them all. But how many of us have actually spared such thoughts to our mental health?

Just like physical health, our minds need a stress busting activity and ‘muscle’ building activities too. From our waking moment till the time we get back into bed, our mind is nearly ceaseless in activity. Honestly, most of our thoughts are worthless thoughts like worry, fantasy, repeating thoughts, and random thoughts triggered by various sights and sounds around us. To understand this, just spend a few days minutely recording your thoughts in a journal. You will be very surprised to observe what you think. In fact, a lot of physical stress we experience during a day is due to our mind’s worried thinking. If this activity can be reduced, we will find a huge change in our physical energy levels as well as mental clarity.

Unlike the body, which can demand a lot of maintenance activity, a mind needs simple activities to keep it stress free. The simplest is meditation but sometimes we find the simplest being the toughest. A lot of us would have indeed tried many meditation techniques only to give them up because we found it so difficult to control our thoughts. Only when we want to focus single-mindedly on something that we find all the thoughts in the world flooding our heads.

The truth is if we can manage to prevent our minds from excessive and unnecessary thinking that in itself can make us sharper and stress-free. There are also other techniques to keep our minds healthy and stress free.

First Impressions Matter

If you watch your thoughts keenly, you will also notice that the first thoughts and moods that you have in the day usually set a kind of a ‘trend’ for the day. If you chose to be angry first thing in the morning, you seem to attract anger over and over across the day. Likewise, peaceful thoughts during the morning lead to a relatively peaceful day. It is like you choose a set of mental goggles in the morning and the rest of the day’s experiences filter through those glasses. The most important periods in the morning are the moments you spend in bed immediately after waking up, then your time in the toilet. These are the times when you are mostly in your own world.

In the next article, I will tell you how you can manage to set the best impressions for the day as well as a simple meditation technique that you can do easily.

Suggested Readings:

Frustration: Shortcut to Failure

Semi Conscious Thoughts

Mind Drama


Photo Courtesy: artemisphoto @


Are there good and bad thoughts?

Negative and Positive thoughts are based solely on perception.
Negative and Positive thoughts are based solely on perception.

We call thoughts bad thoughts and good thoughts. We strive to stop or control negative and bad thoughts; and we try to carry and encourage positive thoughts. But are there good and bad thoughts? Are there are negative thoughts and positive thoughts in reality?

Our mind as such does not discriminate one thought from another. A thought being bad or good comes from our belief system. A belief today was also just a thought at one point of time in our lives for us – during the childhood. And we hardly seem to outgrow our childhood beliefs. Hence we carry opinions about good thoughts and bad thoughts. So how does this piece of knowledge help us in our lives?

The truth is that a thought by itself has no power. It is our reaction to the thought that makes it potent or impotent. A thought by itself, is just that, a mere thought. A thought is not necessarily a suggestion. But when we react to it (like getting frustrated or angry because of that thought) that’s when we have accepted it as a suggestion in our head.

In fact, the truth is that a belief is not formed after repeated events proving a certain viewpoint true. Rather, it happens in the exact opposite manner. A viewpoint is accepted as a belief by the subconscious first and then it strives to prove it true over and over. Think of it as a colored filter applied to a lens. Now every scenery is colored with the shade of the lens. That is how we experience the world. And slowly these beliefs, as they are proven true over and over by our mind, shape our personality. We come to hold certain viewpoints as true and certain as false. Similarly, we hold certain thoughts as good and certain as bad only after such a standard has been programmed into us. This programming happens either through SEERS programming – Socio Economic Educational Religious and Spiritual belief systems coming from our parents, teachers, gurus, etc., or they become our ‘moral’ standards with through some personal emotional experiences.

If you want thoughts to have the least effect, you must learn to ignore them as they come. Do not deny them, just let them come, and as easily let them pass. Get out of the habit of reacting to them.

Many spiritual practices too recommend that you learn to ignore thoughts and not to react to them. But that cannot happen completely unless you are willing to question your ‘moral’ standards and ego-based beliefs.

Suggested Readings:
What people think of you is their problem!
Mind Drama

Photo Courtesy: njaj @

Who is my Soul Mate?

'And they lived happily ever after....'
‘And they lived happily ever after….’

‘And they lived happily ever after…’

There is a reason why many fairy tales end with a perfect couple finally getting to be with each other and the above statement. Because even those who wrote fairy tales – tales of hope, love and magic – could not imagine what kind of a life ‘prefect’ couples lead! So they simply throw that statement ‘they lived happily ever after’ and get away with it!

Who is my Soul Mate?

As a therapist who also deals with relationship issues I often get asked this question both by single women and men. Sometimes by married men and women too asked me this question.

Let us be very honest for a moment. Do any of us consider ourselves perfect? Not really. Then why do we expect a perfect person in life? Why would a perfect person choose to live with someone as imperfect as ourselves?

There is a lot of misunderstanding regarding the term Soul Mate, especially among those into the ‘New Age’ circles. The common misunderstanding is that a soul mate is a romantic partner who is meant to be yours, someone who will storm into your life and set all things right for you, at least on the relationship front. And everybody is supposed to have a soul mate.

Well, if that is true then for every person who remains unmarried all their life there will be another disappointed person who is left forcibly unmarried or caught with a ‘wrong’ partner. It even implies an obligation to get married whether one likes it or not. Well, with so many social and religious obligations already around I would say you are better off without another ‘sin’ falling on your head.

The Need for a Perfect Partner

 Most of our needs for a perfect partner, just like most other relationships, spring from an internal lack. We feel lonely, unloved, worthless, or because we feel our family and friends have not really understood us. In fact, if there are soul mates and we do find them, this very dumping of past expectations on to that person’s head is alone enough to wreck that relationship!

Another issue is social/cultural/religious programming we receive since our childhood regarding relationships. We need partners who fit our programming. Hence a lot of marriages end up as bitter disappointments for both the partners.

I am not saying there is nobody called a Soul Mate. All I am asking is to question yourself with forthright honesty as to why do you want to hold onto such an idea? Our mind never does anything randomly. So if there is a belief then there is an underlying motivation holding that belief. And whatever that motivation or lack is you can heal that without a need for any external saviour.

Perfect Relationships

Suffering comes from inside of us never from outside. What’s outside is always a reflection of our internal state. I am not being a killjoy here. I do agree there are perfect partnerships but not perfect persons. What do I mean by a perfect partnership?

We always attract what we need in our lives. I am not putting forward some romantic pseudo-spiritual concept here. I am speaking of how our minds shape our reality and experiences. How is that when you drive in anger you seem to attract all the ‘idiots’ in the road who overtake you narrowly or drive straight on the wrong side of the road directly towards you?

More than we attract what we wish for consciously, we attract those beliefs that motivate us to consciously hold desires and ambitions in the first place!

This is no exception in case of relationships too. We seem to find partners who are smack opposite of who we are. Or they soon grow into that. You can look at the situation from two viewpoints – one we got what we attracted so we must suffer. Or two, we have an opportunity to go within and question the belief that attracted this situation in the first place.

Mirrors to our Fears

Partners can reflect our underlying fears and beliefs
Partners can reflect our underlying fears and beliefs

A life partner usually fulfils the role of a mirror perfectly. What you see in a mirror is exactly the opposite of your image as well as the same as you. Opposite because the poles are reversed – left to right appears as right to left in the mirror. Same as us because they reflect all our fears and beliefs back to us. What can be a more perfect partnership than that?

When friends mirror our fears, we cut them from our lives. When siblings do that we start avoiding them. When parents do that we run away from them. But when finally spouses do that we deliberate for a long time. Even in countries where divorces are common, people spend a lot of time in the marriage before they opt out.

Opposites Balance

In fact, opposites balance out each other nicely many times. Think of a spendthrift man with a frugal wife. If they learn to accept each other’s shortcomings, there will still be arguments once in a while, but there will a balance of thoughts built in each. If they think they are not good partners, there is only suffering.

Do I mean partnerships should not be broken? I am not speaking of any outside actions here. Before you opt to stay in the relationship or to get out of it, make sure you’ve questioned and healed all your beliefs and fears the other person is reflecting back to you.

For if you fail to do that, you will either continue to suffer in the relationship, or move out of that relationship and attract a similar one again!

Isn’t it selfish to look at self healing in a relationship? Perhaps it is, but is it unselfish to expect a soul mate to walk and be disappointed with who comes in?

If you are single, ask yourself what is your idea of soul mate relationship and why do you want such a belief? Find and work out the beliefs that are motivating you to look for a soul mate.

There is nothing wrong in falling in love before or after marriage. There is nothing wrong in thinking this is the perfect partner for you. But dumping expectations on the other person in relationship – be they personal or social/cultural – that is the beginning of trouble.

I’ve seen more relationships break or not happen at all out of idealistic concepts, fears, and expectations than actual lack of compatibility.

A partnership is a best opportunity for us to heal ourselves. And if both partners do that, they would certainly realize they had attracted Soul Mates indeed!

Strange as it may sound, a perfect relationship happens when the both partners do not expect anything from each other!

Suggested Readings:

Power of Manifestation

Sometimes Separation is a Way for Healing Marital Issues

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