We Are Going On A Long Leave

Short GoodbyeThere come many opportunities in a person’s life when they can choose to follow their hearts or continue living in fears and insecurities of the mind. We (Geetha and I) have passed through quite a few and perhaps there lie a few more ahead of us. Most of the times, our choice was of the heart but once in a while we let our fears cloud us and keep us in the same of loop of suffering. We are once more at one such juncture in our lives.

This time the choice was unhesitating and simultaneous for both of us. Now, we’ve both come to a clear realization that further and truer healing cannot happen with conventional therapy but rather through a deeper introspection and awareness. And stepping into pure present moment awareness means we cannot avoid stepping into the unknown that follows it immediately. And to do that we realized we simply have to put in more faith into the life within and trust it to take care of us. And we are doing that. We are going away together to explore and experiment in deeper and truer healing. And, as usual with our lives so far, the experiment is first on us. We didn’t have to go away to let this healing happen, but the moment the realization to heal deeper came for us the universe opened doors for a perfect space to heal!

As a result, we are both taking a long sabbatical and we are closing Purple Room Healing for the public. The leave is for at least six months. The blog and all its articles will still be available for you all. We are also opening a site and another blog to share our onward (and inward) journey and to write about the practice of awareness. We will announce them here soon once we have made the physical transition to our new home and personal healing space.

Thank you all clients and friends who made this journey with us. We learnt a lot from each of you and we hope each of you had equally benefited through the help we could extend.

“The only freedom we’ve got is not to react to anything, but to turn within and know the truth.” – Robert Adams

My Parents Ruined My Life

child abuse‘My dad would beat me up and tie me to the bed post.’

‘My mother never let me go out with friends because she felt they were not right for me.’

‘My father never had confidence in me.’

‘My parents forced me into this marriage.’

‘Both my mom and dad knew about the abuse I was undergoing, but they didn’t want to lose face in the society. So they did nothing.’

I get clients who had a difficult childhood. Some of them grew with parents who constantly fought with each other, some of them had an over-protective single parent, some of them had very strict parents, and some of them were with parents who hardly acknowledged their presence.

In many ways each of us had trouble with our parents and hated them on more than one occasion. Most of us learn to cope and a very few actually resolve their issues with them. But for some of the clients the childhood would be so bad that they would carry the scars into their adult lives very badly.

Excuse to Ruin Your Life Further

These people blame their parents for their lives being a mess today. They carry the pain and guilt and it practically ruins their lives. Over a period of time this becomes a good excuse to shirk responsibility and avoid facing their fears. dejectionIt is the new comfort zone – ‘our shell’ so to speak.

Then from a genuine anger it turns into a defence mechanism born out of frustration. After parents they start unconsciously choosing other replacements to blame their frustrations and failures upon.

The Present Is Not the Past

It may be true that they had been through severely traumatic past. But the truth is that such clients have chosen to cling to the past. This is a point where most healing comes to a standstill. In fact this is where most of our lives come to a standstill itself. We have put our present and future on a pause interminably.

No matter how painful the past may have been, choosing to make the best of the present is the only solution. If we can understand that past may have been the time when we were helpless but present is all ours, we can find it easy to realize we are not that helpless afterall. The past never haunts us, we cling to the past for various reasons.

Process of Letting Go

past present futureOf course only way to move on is to let go. That means not only letting go of the pains of the past but, more importantly, letting go of past resentments and regrets.

I’ve often seen that resentment, regret, and guilt are the biggest blocks to healing and all progress.

And with clients who are not willing to let go or, in some cases, not even willing to acknowledge they are clinging to the past, all we do is end the therapy for good. We have no choice. The choice rests with the person who is carrying the past.

Adult Is Not A Child

Obvious isn’t. Yet we do not apply it most of the time.

Yes, parents may have been responsible for your low self-opinion in your early childhood. But you are not that child anymore. The truth is that if you are old enough to realize the mistake lies with your parents in your childhood, you are also old enough to understand the mistake now lies with you in choosing to wear the past like a jacket around you.

We all have a choice to make – we can either acknowledge that we are not as bad as we think we are (and nor is our situation) and let go of the past, or we can hang on to live in the past and continue to drive our life in a downward spiral hoping to get our parents to regret and repent their mistakes.

Parents Need To Realize or Suffer

In order to impress upon the parents their suffering, some of us go to the extreme of hurting ourselves and our lives.

A simple understanding here makes it easy to choose the healing path. The person facing the problem today is not the parents but you. The life at stake is not the parents’ but yours.

And the more we try to push our parents to realize the truth through our suffering, the more we are abusing ourselves. It actually has an opposite effect too. It only strengthens parent’s negative viewpoint about us.

Nobody Understands Me

sadnessYes, nobody can, nobody will. And for this precise reason, only we can change our lives.

Suffering is there to tell us we are going the wrong way and need to change our ways. It is not there to tell us to change the world.

Unless they are ready to let go of the past, people who blame their parents, cannot find happiness or satisfaction in life. They think they are willing to sacrifice the happiness too, but the truth is they haven’t. Their lives are caught between trying to punish themselves or their parents and trying to find happiness and peace. The two goals are mutually exclusive. It just gives rise to a traumatic existence and a miserable future.

Suggested Readings:

Quarrel With Your Spouse If You Want to Ruin Your Child’s Life

It’s Too Late

A Guitar Player Among Footballers

 

Photo Courtesy:
freedigitalphotos.net
Woman Hitting Her Son by David Castillo Dominici
Sad Woman Sitting Alone In Room by FrameAngel
Past, Present And Future Sign by artur84
Beautiful Hispanic Woman With A Very Sad Expression by Sira Anamwong

 

 

Past Life Regression Therapy: Client and Therapist Responsibilities

We have seen in the last two posts on Past Life Regression Therapy on how past life regression works and explored some of the root causes that crop up in past life therapy. Now let us look at the responsibilities of a past life regression therapist as well as the client in order to make Past Life Regression a successful therapeutic session.

Role of Past Life Regression Therapist

Though the clinical training and experience of the therapist are the most important factors, let us assume the client has made necessary enquiries in that area (See ‘How to find a good Hypnotherapist?’ for more). Coming to the session itself, the foremost role of the therapist is in pre-talk. Pre-talk is a consultation session where the past life therapist explains to the client how the therapy works as well as clears misconceptions about past life regression therapy. Most clients have many expectations and opinions about past life regression. If the client had not attended any past life sessions, then most of the expectations and opinions would have been created by the media as well as their religious and cultural background. Some opinions could simply be false. It is the role of the therapist to find out these expectations and set them right if necessary.

What many therapists end up doing in pre-talk is making a sales pitch – which creates even more expectations in the client’s head. The misconceptions remain. Creating an expectation towards healing is necessary, but creating expectations about the therapeutic process itself can become counter-productive sometimes.

There are other responsibilities of the therapist, but discussing them here will only create a client to become analytical during the session, thus again creating a block to a successful past life regression session.

Role of the Client in Past Life Regression Therapy

The client’s responsibility is an important determinant for a successful past life regression therapy.

One of the biggest obstacles towards a successful past life regression therapy is excitement and anticipation on the part of the client. What with so many television channels having hyped up past life regression therapy through their programs, lot of excitement has been generated for this therapy. Clients want to ‘experience’ past life more than having their issues resolved. There are clients who want only past life regression because they are sure the root causes to their problems are from a past life. Some of them are true, some are simply excited.

The most important expectation for a client should be resolution of their problem, rather than having to ‘see’ their past lives. Anticipation about who they could have been in their past life can produce false memories. That would simply be a wasted session without any concrete progress towards actual therapy. Excitement can also cause the client to regress nowhere. They simply hit a blank wall.

There is a simple way to move away from anticipation and excitement. Put your focus on the actual goal of the past life therapy – which is solving a problem in the current life. Do that and you will make easy progress.

Suggested Reading:

Are Past Lives true?

How to find a good Hypnotherapist?

Past Life Regression

Difference Between Past Life Regression and Age Regression

 

Image Courtesy: Ambro @ freedigitalphotos

More on Past Life Regression Therapy

In the last post we have seen how Past Life Regression Therapy works. Now let’s explore root causes. As I said, past life regression is done for the purpose of pinpointing the root cause to the problem and resolving it. Root causes are unique to each problem and person. However, they can be broadly classified based on the consequences they cause.

Some root causes create karmic debts. By karma, most people seem to think it is some kind of punishment or tit-for-tat situation. That depends on our perspective. As long as we see karma as punishment, we cannot get out of the situation nor accept it fully. But karma is also an opportunity to learn. Think of it this way – a school student can see his learning process as a grueling torture or as an opportunity to learn something new. The perspective alters their experience. And if you notice, unless the learning is completed, we will only repeat similar experiences that also worsen with each repetition. The worsening part is due to our increasing frustration and

In some past life therapy sessions, we get root causes that have become emotional triggers, meaning they are incidents of emotional trauma that become associated with strong reactions in us, and every time similar situation occurs in our current lives it triggers off same strong reactions. Shortly put, it is a strong emotional habit. For instance, many psychosomatic diseases like asthma, stress-based psoriasis, etc. are triggered in similar ways. Physical reactions are caused by cellular memories. Each cell of our body seems to have a capacity to hold limited memory in the way of physical reactions like pain or other dysfunctions. Whenever a strong emotional situation occurs the simultaneous reactions of the body are deeply etched into the cellular memories. And when similar emotions are evoked, the cells throw up the physical reactions. Hence, the cases where people who have died of drowning in the past seem to have asthmatic attacks in face of severe threat (both physical and mental) to their survival.

Some past life regressions root causes are oaths, vows, and contracts. We sometimes feel so strongly about something or someone that we enter into very strong contracts or take serious oaths. These seem to have their effects carried into our future lives until we revoke them consciously.

In the next post we shall look at requirements for a successful past life regression therapy both in terms of therapist and the client’s responsibilities.

Suggested Readings:

What is Karmic Debt?

Karmic Debt of a Housewife – A Case Study

Are Past Lives True?

How does a Past Life Therapy work?

Past Life Therapy has become quite popular these days because of its recent promotion in the television. As a hypnotherapist many clients call me just for Past Life Regression. Initiated in India by ‘Raaz Pichle Janam Ka’ in Hindi, it was later remade into many regional languages including Mun Jenmam in Tamil. The therapists all over the metros started getting enquiries about past life regression including in Chennai. But how does a Past Life Regression Therapy work?

There is a general assumption that by recalling past life memories, we see the roots of current life problems and hence it helps us resolve the problem from its core. The assumption is true but let us go into it in more detail.

When a client undergoes past life regression, there is always a goal (obvious…but is it?) – to resolve a problem in the current life. The stress on goal is important because some times, in the excitement of ‘seeing’ past life memories, the clients can tend to become enthusiastic about therapy itself than the goal, which will only lead to waste of money and time.

So a client is regressed to those past life memories which are the root cause for current life’s problems. The problem could be a phobia, a relationship issue (marital problems, parent child relationship), resentment or jealousy issues, sexuality issues, certain physical conditions (Psychosomatic diseases), etc.

The therapeutic goal of a Past Life Regression is not to make the client ‘relive’ the memories and trauma but to simply find what the real problem is. You see, when a client comes with a problem to be resolved, a therapist never sees that as a problem but as a symptom for a root problem.

Think of it this way. You approach a doctor with fever, headache and other symptoms. The doctor would never give you a paracetamol; in fact, you would have gone to a doctor after having tried your own medication. The doctor’s goal is to find out what’s causing the fever and other symptoms in the first place.

The same is the case here. The client is having the current problem as a symptom of a deeper root cause. Sometimes those roots may lie in past lives. Hence the diagnostic tool Past Life Regression Therapy. Just like the doctor may find a malarial parasite or some virus as a cause for the symptoms, past life regression will help you find the root problem. Once the root cause is found, the client needs to focus their attention on it. For this root cause is the reason why the client is having certain problems in current life.

Past Life Therapy is not just a great diagnostic tool it is also a powerful therapeutic technique. Once the root cause is found one of the two things happen; in some cases the problem comes down by itself. The mind works out the solution as soon as the root cause is recalled. There is a certain ‘automatic release’ that happens as soon as the root cause becomes apparent to the subconscious. This can be seen in cases of phobias or psychosomatic diseases mostly, though I have seen such results even in cases of relationship and other issues too. The problem may be resolved fully or it may come down to a manageable level.

But do not expect this dramatic change to happen in every case. In other cases, the therapist and the client now work towards resolving the root problem. It may be a few more sessions still before the client starts seeing resolution and positive changes.

In the next article, I will explain about what kind of root causes may come up and also the right mental attitude and other conditions required of the client for a successful past life regression therapy to happen.

How to find a good Hypnotherapist?

Finding a good Hypnotherapist in Chennai or Bangalore or Hyderabad or any other city is not as difficult as you imagine. Just follow simple guidelines so you can be sure you can find a fair playing Hypnotherapist in your city. Click on the article title for more.

It’s been a long while since I wrote a similar article and many things have changed since. So here’s another guide to finding a good Hypnotherapist through online search in your local area.

The most common way we search for Hypnotherapists online is with keywords like Hypnotherapist in Chennai, Bangalore, or other places as necessary. The other method is looking up a local directory for Hypnotherapists or Past Life Regression Therapists in your city.

However, just because a hypnotherapist’s name appears in the top results does not necessarily mean he/she is the best hypnotherapist. It only means the hypnotherapist has got a good Search Engine Optimization (SEO) done. SEO is a set of tools and practises that ensures that your result appears in the first page of Google and other popular search engines. So the task of finding if the hypnotherapist is good enough still remains.

Website and Testimonials: Visiting the website or blog of the hypnotherapist will provide some information about the hypnotherapist but remember the content of the website or blog is always carefully thought out and well written. Mostly not even by the therapist. Testimonials could be of some help but always take them with a pinch of salt.

First Call: Try to talk with the therapist personally. If that is not possible, get an appointment for consultation and meet the therapist before you decide to undergo therapy. Your first impression counts.

Certification: Currently, in India, there are no legal certifications required for one to practise Hypnotherapy. However, a certification from a well-standing institute will at least make sure the hypnotherapist has had a formal training in both theory and practise of Hypnotherapy.

Experience: Find out how many years of practise he/she’s had. More importantly find out if the therapist has had any experience with issues similar to yours (yes that means you need to tell the therapist about your issue, even if briefly, in the first meeting or call).

Quality Time Spent: A therapist may spend only twenty minutes with you but if those twenty minutes have been spent in listening to your case or in offering sound counselling or therapy then you probably are in good hands. But if the therapist is extremely time-conscious to the point of being rude and ending therapy abruptly at the end of the allotted hour, perhaps you may need to change your therapist. Of course, as a client again, you must discuss your issue clearly and stop at that; not go round in circles repeating the same issue as if you are complaining with your family member. In such cases, therapists usually cuts you off, sometimes rudely too.

Misconception: No hypnotherapist can take your mind under control and extract truths from you. Any therapist claiming to do so is a sham and a liar. Get out of there before he/she proceeds to dish out more lies in order to make money out of you.

Rapport and Trust: The main question here is not if the hypnotherapist is good but if the hypnotherapist is good for you! In Hypnotherapy, as in the case of all successful therapies, the first all important requisite is to have a faith in the therapist. So a hypnotherapist might be have the best credentials, years of experience,  and may have come with best recommendations but if you cannot have faith in her/him or at least a good rapport, get out of that place!

At the end of the day, if you intuitively feel the therapist can heal you, just go ahead even if the therapist is not certified, or doesn’t have previous experience. Trust your intuition! For a hypnotherapist is always a guide, the actual healing is done by your subconscious.

What is the difference between Age Regression and Past Life Regression?

In Age Regression the client is directed to past events of her own lifetime whereas in Past Life Regression the client is directed back to her past lives in search of the roots of the current issue that the client wants resolved.