Self Abuse: The Most Rampant Core Issue

Self acceptance can be the root of most problems, if not all, in life!
Self acceptance can be the root of most problems, if not all, in life!

Try this simple exercise: Stand before a mirror. Looking at your image in the mirror and ask yourself if you can genuinely say yes to the following questions:

Can you completely accept the person you see in the mirror with all the person’s faults and limitations?
Can you absolutely forgive the person in the mirror for all the sins and mistakes in the person’s past?
Can you love that person unconditionally?
Can you approve that person’s behavior and personality?

If you genuinely try this exercise a few times you will realize it difficult to say yes from the bottom of your heart to all of the above questions.

But try this exercise again with a small change.

If the person in the mirror was someone you love, say your child, you wouldn't have trouble accepting, forgiving, and loving the person!
If the person in the mirror was someone you love, say your child, you wouldn’t have trouble accepting, forgiving, and loving the person!

Imagine that person in the mirror to be your brother, sister, a parent, a child, your best friend, or someone you love very much. Now ask the same questions above. You will notice you can now actually say yes to all of them quite easily and willingly.

Now look at the person in the mirror again and answer this following question:

How many times have you scolded or disapproved of that person for something or the other on the past?
How many times have you become angry with that person in the past?
If you verbalized your disapproval and anger you showed at yourself to another person say your brother, sister, a parent, a child, a friend or someone you love very much, would it not constitute abuse? Would it not be such worst abuse that you become legally punishable?

The answer in most cases is an ashamed yes.

Think back to all the times you hated yourself and shouted at yourself and you will know the answer for yourself.

We all carry an inner critic – a hard-to-please, strict disciplinarian. There is no pleasing this critic. The problem is in attempting it. Sometimes we hear it as the voice of our parent in our head, sometimes it is the voice of a neighbor, a peer, a boss, spouse, and at other times it is just our voice. We can forgive others for their shortcomings easily but we always are unforgiving perfectionists when it comes to ourselves. And that paves the shortest route to ruin and suffering.

Self Abuse is the most rampant of all issues and unless we can each learn to deal with our opinion of ourselves everything we do in our daily lives will only increase our insecurities.

Do the mirror exercise every day. Simply stand before the mirror and say that you accept the person in the mirror, forgive that person, affirm that you love that person, and approve of that person. Keep doing it until you can do it without any inner hesitation or emotions blocking you.

There are so many versions of mirror exercises out there in the web. In spite of the variations, the goal is same, absolute self-acceptance.

How would you know you have accepted yourself? When you notice you are no longer abusing yourself with mental, verbal, and physical self-destructive behavior. The day you stop chiding yourself for every small thing in your life, you have truly reached a state of self-acceptance. That day you will also notice a dramatic change in the way people around you treat you.

When people approach me for Hypnotherapy or Reiki Healing for any issue, this is one of the most common exercises we ask them to do. Self image is the area where most often root causes are revealed in regression sessions.

Suggested Readings:
Do You Deserve To Be Healed?
Fears Could Be Mirrors for Self Examination
It’s Too Late Now!

Photo Courtesy:
adamrArvind Balaraman @ freedigitalphotos.net

 

Power of Manifestation – Part 2 – Positive Manifestation

The power of manifestation is inherent in all of us. All we need to do is to harvest it and turn it to our advantage. Click on the title to read more about how to manifest positively…

Earlier we examined how nearly everything that happens to us is a result of our own manifestations at the subconscious level. It simply means that we have immense power to create our lives just the way we want it. But since we are programmed with a lot of self-limiting beliefs while growing up, we tend to manifest many situations to our disadvantage.

What we need to learn and master is the art of positive manifestation. With persistence, positive manifestation can even change your deep rooted beliefs about yourself and the laws of life. So how do we manifest positive events in our lives?

We start by first identifying and eliminating all the negative manifestations that we have created in our lives. Simple way to look for negative manifestations is by looking for patterns in our lives. Look for similar situations that we repeatedly put ourselves into. These are the situations we are creating. For instance, routinely getting caught in traffic, being late for office almost daily, fighting with our spouse every weekend, etc.

Before you start curbing this manifestation, understand what the situation is trying to teach you. Do you need to be more assertive? Do you need to spend time on planning before you act? Should you try to understand the needs of your partner or family members better? Don’t analyse the situation too much. Usually the solution is something simple and clear within you. Just ask yourself what you need to learn and the answer will pop from within. Make sure you learn before you go about stopping the negative manifestation.

Here’s how you stop negative manifestation. Run the whole situation in your head. Think of the reasons why the situation occurs. You may feel inclined to blame time and people. Unless you take personal responsibility you cannot change the situation. So now focus on yourself and think why you are creating this situation repeatedly. You will find a subconscious belief within you which is dictating this situation.

Now go about changing the situation in your mind. Replace all the negative elements in that situation with positive visualizations. For instance, if you are in the habit of arriving late to office, imagine that you are reaching at least ten minutes earlier and you are having ample time to relax yourself before beginning the day’s work. Create that visualization as convincingly as possible. You may find your mind throwing objections.

‘It’s Monday morning, there will be heavy traffic on the way.’

‘My spouse always delays breakfast.’

‘I have to hunt for fifteen minutes for a parking space.’

Brush aside all objections and recreate your visualization in your head. See yourself arriving on time. Do it again and again. Now let go of the imagination. They key to successful manifestation lies in creating an absolutely positive visualization and then letting it go. You may write a great mail but you cannot get a reply unless you send the mail. So let go of the visualization. Repeat the process of visualising the positive and letting go every time a negative objection enters your head. Don’t argue with your head, you cannot win such arguments! Just brush aside the negative thoughts and visualize the positive once more. Wait for the results. You will soon be surprised with how you can change situations in your life.

In the next post, I will discuss common pitfalls we encounter in the early stages of learning positive manifestation.

Suggested Reading:

Mind Drama
Anger Management 

Photo Courtesy: freedigitalphotos.net