Self Awareness through Body Behaviour Workshop

Self Awareness through Body Behaviour Workshop
Body Behaviour Workshop in Tiruvannamalai

How often are we aware of our inner state of being?

Can we become aware of our emotions as they begin to arise, before they become a flood?

How do we monitor our daily thoughts and emotions?

How stressed and anxious are we in our daily routine?

Self awareness is a way of progress – both spiritual as well as material. Awareness of our inner state of being helps us identify and work through various phases in our lives. It helps us with keeping healthy relationships both with ourselves as well as with our loved ones.

Watching our thoughts can be a difficult and, at times, a most frustrating of endeavors. Luckily each of us have an anchor – the physical body. Our bodies not only help keep us grounded in the present moment but they are also perfect mirrors for all our thoughts – both conscious and subconscious.

Almost all of our body behaviour, be it a gesture, a movement, a posture, or an expression, is a reflection of our inner state of being. By learning to watch our body behaviour everyday, we gain access into the inner recesses of our emotional and mental states. We can become aware of our anxieties, our stress-related thoughts, our emotional tipping points, our inner fears and motivations. Over time, the practice can help us identify self-destructive and repeating patterns in which our lives sometimes seem to get caught in.

It also helps us have better interpersonal relationships as we learn to be more empathetic towards others around us because we can understand them beyond their spoken words and defensive behaviours.

IN THE WORKSHOP:

We will learn to observe ourselves and understand our gestures, postures, expressions, micro-expressions, and micro-gestures that we commonly exhibit in our daily routines.

We will examine various real life video footages of people to practically understand the body behaviour in various circumstances.

We will participate in discussions on moral/social/religious issues that can bring up various defensive and offensive gestures and behaviour in us. This will help us in watching our body behaviour as emotions and thoughts arise, flow and subside.

We will record and interpret videos of our introductions, discussions, and other physical activity we may participate in. In short, we deepen our awareness of ourselves.

WORKSHOP DATES:

25th March (Saturday) – 10 am till 6pm
26th March (Sunday) – 9am till 5pm
Participants will have to bring their own notebooks and stationary. If they want a copy of their recordings, then they are requested to bring their own usb drives on the second day.

*The workshop is limited to 8-10 participants only.

WORKSHOP FEE:

Gift Economy (you may pay from your heart whatever you are willing and able to)

Click the link for Registration: https://goo.gl/forms/R0L85AojTt0LMvVg1

About the facilitator – Kiran:

Kiran comes from a background of therapy and healing. He is a Hypnotherapist and a Reiki Healer with an experience of about 5 years. He has been conducting workshops on Non-verbal Behaviour for about eight years now.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

Is this workshop same as a workshop on Body Language?

Body Language, of late, has come to mean manipulation of our body behaviour and appearance in order to project a false image of ourselves to gain advantage of a social or a professional situation. In such workshops we are encouraged to control and hide our original emotions and thoughts, and also to assume non-existent rapport with other persons for our own gain. Our workshop is different from it.

In fact, the opposite is encouraged here. An honest exploration of our body behaviour in order to unearth underlying emotions and thoughts is the focus of this workshop with a goal of eventual release of our self-limiting beliefs, fears, and blocked emotions.

Will I be taught how to better present myself in professional situations and impress others?

No. This workshop focuses on exploring our authentic selves beneath and beyond our social masks and images.

Who is eligible to participate?

Anyone with an interest in self-exploration and self-healing is welcome to join us. Age is no bar.

Can I control my emotions like anger and sorrow after this workshop?

When you say control, I am assuming you mean resolution. That is being able to resolve emotional issues. In that case, this workshop would be a good start, yes.

Here we learn to identify and become aware of our internal resistances and reactions. All ‘dark’ emotions start off as a resistance to an external situation and with body awareness we can identify them and examine the root causes of these emotions.

Awareness would be the emphasis of this workshop, since awareness is needed for any release/resolution. Do understand that in case of certain long-standing traumas and deeply blocked emotions you do need acceptance and surrender to your emotional state especially when the resolution/release begins.

Self Abuse: The Most Rampant Core Issue

Self acceptance can be the root of most problems, if not all, in life!
Self acceptance can be the root of most problems, if not all, in life!

Try this simple exercise: Stand before a mirror. Looking at your image in the mirror and ask yourself if you can genuinely say yes to the following questions:

Can you completely accept the person you see in the mirror with all the person’s faults and limitations?
Can you absolutely forgive the person in the mirror for all the sins and mistakes in the person’s past?
Can you love that person unconditionally?
Can you approve that person’s behavior and personality?

If you genuinely try this exercise a few times you will realize it difficult to say yes from the bottom of your heart to all of the above questions.

But try this exercise again with a small change.

If the person in the mirror was someone you love, say your child, you wouldn't have trouble accepting, forgiving, and loving the person!
If the person in the mirror was someone you love, say your child, you wouldn’t have trouble accepting, forgiving, and loving the person!

Imagine that person in the mirror to be your brother, sister, a parent, a child, your best friend, or someone you love very much. Now ask the same questions above. You will notice you can now actually say yes to all of them quite easily and willingly.

Now look at the person in the mirror again and answer this following question:

How many times have you scolded or disapproved of that person for something or the other on the past?
How many times have you become angry with that person in the past?
If you verbalized your disapproval and anger you showed at yourself to another person say your brother, sister, a parent, a child, a friend or someone you love very much, would it not constitute abuse? Would it not be such worst abuse that you become legally punishable?

The answer in most cases is an ashamed yes.

Think back to all the times you hated yourself and shouted at yourself and you will know the answer for yourself.

We all carry an inner critic – a hard-to-please, strict disciplinarian. There is no pleasing this critic. The problem is in attempting it. Sometimes we hear it as the voice of our parent in our head, sometimes it is the voice of a neighbor, a peer, a boss, spouse, and at other times it is just our voice. We can forgive others for their shortcomings easily but we always are unforgiving perfectionists when it comes to ourselves. And that paves the shortest route to ruin and suffering.

Self Abuse is the most rampant of all issues and unless we can each learn to deal with our opinion of ourselves everything we do in our daily lives will only increase our insecurities.

Do the mirror exercise every day. Simply stand before the mirror and say that you accept the person in the mirror, forgive that person, affirm that you love that person, and approve of that person. Keep doing it until you can do it without any inner hesitation or emotions blocking you.

There are so many versions of mirror exercises out there in the web. In spite of the variations, the goal is same, absolute self-acceptance.

How would you know you have accepted yourself? When you notice you are no longer abusing yourself with mental, verbal, and physical self-destructive behavior. The day you stop chiding yourself for every small thing in your life, you have truly reached a state of self-acceptance. That day you will also notice a dramatic change in the way people around you treat you.

When people approach me for Hypnotherapy or Reiki Healing for any issue, this is one of the most common exercises we ask them to do. Self image is the area where most often root causes are revealed in regression sessions.

Suggested Readings:
Do You Deserve To Be Healed?
Fears Could Be Mirrors for Self Examination
It’s Too Late Now!

Photo Courtesy:
adamrArvind Balaraman @ freedigitalphotos.net

 

Cord Cutting – Introduction, Benefits and Detailed Procedure for Self Healing

A brief about Energetic Cords.

Cord Cutting can help improve relationships
Cord Cutting can help improve relationships

When people are in any kind of a relationship they start bonding to each other through energetic cords. Think of them as tubes of various sorts connecting one another. There are basically two kinds of cords. Soul level cords – these are cords of love and they cannot be cut. These are soul level connections which share just love between each other. They do not harm the person. The second kind of cords are personality or karmic cords – these are cords that can exert unnecessary influence on each other. They are formed willingly albeit subconsciously. They are formed out of repeated behaviour by the people in relationship or through one major emotional event. For instance, a mother who routinely blames a son for not being good to her and the son allowing those accusations to feed his guilt, forms a cord and the mother could (consciously or unconsciously) use it to manipulate her son. They are also called Karmic cords because they can indicate karmic debts coming from the past.

Each person can have any number of such cords in one relationship itself. Even with the relationship continuing, it is essential to cut these cords because they will make the relationship healthier. It is all the more important that cord cutting is done when the relationship ends.

Benefits of Cord Cutting

  • Cord cutting improves any relationship. It clears up unhealthy habits between people and helps them form healthier habits in the relationship.
  • Cord cutting can be done to improve any relationship – parent child, life partners, lovers, past relationships, ex boyfriend girlfriends, friends, sibling, boss subordinate, colleagues, classmates, teacher student, and any other relationships.
  • It heals you tremendously. You find a huge relief from the emotions you’ve been carrying because of the relationship.
  • You release a lot of pent up negative emotions that you have been suppressing and carrying around for sometime. Some times, it also releases emotions held up over years.

    Fears and Blocks created by past breakups may be cleared with cord cutting.
    Fears and Blocks created by past breakups may be cleared with cord cutting.
  • It clears blocks in relationship issue, especially in your love life. When single people go through many relationship issues in the past they form unconscious blocks and fears about life partners in their life and they start acting out of these fears from the past. This tends to ruin any good future relationship they can potentially form.
  • It helps you identify hidden motivations in relationships both within self and in others.
  • Cord cutting gives you the ‘breathing space’ you need. Your behaviour is no longer automatic or compulsive. You will find that you can now change your behaviour easily.

Procedure for Cord Cutting:

It takes about 20-30 min sometimes, so make sure nobody disturbs you for so long. Don’t do this after dark.

Step1 – Relaxation and Creating inner awareness.

  • Sit or lie down in some quiet place. Focus on your natural breathing.
  • Now slowly start deep breathing with your focus on your lower lungs and abdomen. Take ten deep breaths.
  • Follow that by 15 short rapid breaths. These breaths are quick, shallow, and without pause.
  • Observe the breathing come back to normal breathing.

Step 2 – Activating subconscious and Shielding

  • Now visualize yourself in a serene, beautiful garden. Make sure the garden has a water body in it like a lake, fountain, stream, beach, or a waterfall.

    Visualize the garden or landscape as vividly as you can!
    Visualize the garden or landscape as vividly as you can!
  • Take time to create the garden completely in your visualization. See the blue sky, trees, birds, flowers, fruits, grass – just take time to ‘feel’ the place.
  • Now imagine sitting in a calm space in the garden.
  • Imagine a bright beautiful golden yellow or white light in the sky directly above you coming down, and touching the top of your head.
  • Let the light enter your body through the top of your head and fill your entire body till the tip of your toes with this bright, beautiful, vibrant, tingling light.
  • See the light expanding into a bubble of protection all around you including under you.

Step 3 – Locating the ‘Feeling Centers’

  • Now call the person you want to cut cords with into the garden. See the person clearly coming into the garden and standing before you.enery release
  • Notice your first feelings about her/him – all of them – both negative as well as positive.
  • Now observe where each of these feelings is beginning in your body. (Ask yourself ‘If this feeling was stored in my body physically, where would it be?’)
  • You will find that each feeling has a place in your body (like, for instance, hurt stored in your heart center, etc)
  • Give each feeling a color and a shape – whatever you feel like. (you can ask ‘If this feeling had a color and a shape what would it be like?’)
  • For instance, you may see hurt as dirty green ball in your heart center, you may see anger as a red monster attached to you at solar plexus, or you may notice helplessness as blobs of  yellow on your hand – these are just examples. You can give any color and shape you feel like. Sometimes the moment you trace the feeling to place in the body you may instantly perceive it as some object or being.

Step 4 – Scanning and Locating Cords

  • Now visualize the other person also also in a beam of their own light from the sky and with their own bubble of protection.
  • Start ‘scanning’ the person from top of his/her head. Your intention is to look for personality or karmic cords of energies that connect both of you.
  • You may ‘see’ or ‘feel’ these cords.

    Scan for all cords extending between you both.
    Scan for all cords extending between you both.
  • When you see the first cord, make a note of where on his/her body is the cord beginning, follow that cord to see where in your body the cord is penetrating.
  • Now take time to notice the details of the cord – its thickness, what does it look like, is it brittle or flexible, all the details that strike you.
  • Now see if the energy flow in the cord is one way or both ways – that is, is this cord feeding energy from one person to another only, or is this cord used by both to cross feed each other.
  • You may remember some past events when you are doing this, you may find certain emotions coming up sometimes. If that happens, just make a note of it.
  • Continue scanning.
  • Locate all cords between you and the other person.
  • You may notice many cords are end or begin at ‘feeling centers’ that you located earlier.

Step 5 – Cutting Cords

  • Once you have located all cords between you and the other person, you proceed with energy negotiation and cord cutting.
  • Move to the first cord you found.

    Some relationship cords could be restricting our behavior.
    Some relationship cords could be restricting our behavior.
  • If the energy is coming from her/him to you, ask yourself if you still feel a need to accept that energy or emotion from her/him. Only when your answer is a firm no can you really cut the cord. Otherwise, it means you are not yet ready to cut the cords. Even if you attempt it, in such a case, the cord will reconnect itself back.
  • When the answer is a firm no, you should see the flow of energy coming from her/him through the cord stopping immediately.
  • Now tell her/him that she/he needs to stop sending that energy to you. Tell her/him that your karma to accept those energies is complete and any energy she/he continues to send, if it bounces back to her/him, then it is of no karmic consequence to you since you have no intention of affecting her/him. It is her/him own doing.
  • If the energy is going outwards from you, ask yourself what emotion or influence from you is feeding that person. You will instantly get an answer. You may again remember an event of the past or a particular emotion coming up strongly within.
  • Ask yourself, if you are ready to let go of the need to influence the other person with these energies of yours. The answer should be no again. If the answer is yes or if you feel hesitant, look back at the suffering you are undergoing for still being connected to her/him. This can convince you to let go.
  • Once again, when you answer with a firm no, you will see the energy flow from you to the other person stopping instantly.
  • If the energy flow is two way, then you will naturally do all the above steps.
  • Only when you see the energy flow stopping, will you proceed to cut the cords.
  • There are a few ways to cut the cords. You should choose whichever feels right for each cord. I am listing couple of methods here. You may intuitively feel other creative ways to remove the cord connection.

Method 1:

  • You can request a sword or shears (large garden scissors!) made of light to cut the cords. You will find the requested tool coming to you from the light above.
  • Use it to cut the cord as close to your body as possible.
  • Now request for a ball of light and you will find a small ball (about the size of an apple) coming from the light above.
  • Rub that ball at the place on your body where you have cut the cord.
  • Notice this light sealing off the ‘hole’ left behind on your body after cutting the cord.
  • Proceed to do the same steps with the other person in cutting the same cord. So you will cut that cord from the other end by the same procedure above.
  • Yes, you need to cut the cord from the other person’s end too no matter how much you dislike the other person. You do this because the cord that is cut needs to be destroyed.
  • If the other person feels the need for the same cord, they will form another with somebody else but not you.
  • This also helps you get rid of cords of resentment easily. For anger and resentment are also means of attachments.
  • Cleanse and seal their body with the ball of light.
  • Destroy the cord by burning it. See the smoke and ashes pulled up into the sky through a third beam of light. This is not the beams of light that is on your or on her.
  • Proceed to cut all the remaining cords similarly.

Method 2:

  • Here you uproot the cord out of the body instead of cutting it. That’s the only difference.
  • This is done if you feel any particular cord has ‘grown into you’ and has roots within.
  • Hold the cord with both the hands as close to the body as you can.
  • Visualize white light forming around the roots of the cords within so they help to ‘slide the roots out’.
  • Pull the cord out of the body slowly.
  • Notice the roots sliding out gently. Pull until the cord is uprooted completely.
  • If any roots are broken and left within the body, request the light above you to dissolve the root completely and flush it out of your either into the ground below or by sucking it up into the light.
  • Follow the cleansing and sealing with the ball of light as described in Method 1 above.
  • Do the same for the other person.
  • Destroy the cord by burning it. See the smoke and ashes pulled up into the sky through a third beam of light. This is not the beams of light that is on your or on her.
  • Proceed to cut all the remaining cords similarly.

Step 6 – Finding Hidden Cords

  • When people send psychic energies out of, conscious or unconscious, malevolent intent or a desperate need to cling, such cords may not show up in the regular scan.

    Visualize a special violet light coming down upon you from the sky.
    Visualize a special violet light coming down upon you from the sky.
  • Just to make sure there are no such hidden cords, visualize a beam of violet light falling in between you and other person you want to cut cords with.
  • Visualize this light expanding outwards towards you on one side, and him/her on the other until finally you both are under this huge beam of violet light.
  • Any hidden cords will instantly show up in this violet light.
  • Go ahead and follow the usual procedure to identify, describe, stop the energy flows, and cut these cords too.

Step 7 – Healing ‘Feeling Centers’ and Leftover Energies

  • This is an important step. You will be healing the ‘Feeling Centers’ that you located earlier as well as any energy you may have already absorbed through the cords into you before they were cut. As I said, many cords would enter your body at the ‘feeling centers’.

    You may see the energy dissolving into smoke and being sucked up into the light.
    You may see the energy dissolving into smoke and being sucked up into the light.
  • After you cut the cords, go back to the place where the first cord was and ask yourself if any energies that you may have absorbed (through the cord before it was cut) is still within you.
  • If there are any left, give those energies a colour and shape just like you did for the ‘feeling centers’ earlier. You are creating a visual form for the energies. Sometimes you may intuitively feel the form readily.
  • Ask the light above to dissolve this energy and cleanse it out of you.
  • You may notice the light dissolving the energy into smoke and sucking it up into the sky.
  • Continue healing all the leftover energies for all the cords you cut.
  • Now go to the remaining ‘feeling centers’ and do the same.
  • If you find it difficult to heal any remaining ‘feeling centers’, then it means you still want to hold on to that emotion you feel there. Try to see various viewpoints as to why it is good for you to let go of that emotion. Only when your intention to let go is firm, can you fully heal.

Step 7 – Final Shielding

  • Ask the other person you cut cords with to go away and live his/her life peacefully. See him/her leave the garden.
  • Connect fully with the light above. See it flowing into you through the top of your head. Absorb the light fully into your every pore and aspect of being.

    Visualize a white light from above entering you through the top of your head.
    Visualize a white light from above entering you through the top of your head.
  • Request the light to do a final clean up to remove all leftover fragments and pieces of energies which may have been overlooked or left behind.
  • Request the light to ‘fill up’ all the empty spaces where the ‘feeling center’ energies or leftover energies had been.
  • Feel the energy of the light filling your whole being. You may get a tingling sensation while this happens.
  • Now visualize this light expanding around you again into a ball of powerful shielding. It should expand at least three feet away from you in all directions including under you.
  • Spend about a minute of awareness on this beautiful and peaceful ball of light.
  • Take a deep breath. Open your eyes.

Exercise to follow post Cord Cutting

  • Do this exercise the next 21 days after the cord cutting is done.
  • Visualizing a ball of light around you at least three times a day. Those visualizations need not be as strong as they were when you did the cord cutting meditation. But nevertheless, just do it. This will strengthen your aura and increase your protection.

Important Notes:

  • Sometimes we notice people you cut cords with suddenly try to contact you within 48 hours of cord cutting. Even people who you have had lost touch with too. If such a thing happens in the next 48 hours after cord cutting, keep away from showing any sympathy or empathy towards the person or his/her plight. It is sometimes seen that the person you cut cords with will feel a ‘pull’ to connect back those cords and they try that, unconsciously of course, through appealing to the emotions of the person who cut the cords.
  • Forming new cords is as easy as cutting cords. Cord cutting clears up negative energy within. But it is now up to you to replace that space with positive thoughts, and behaviour patterns. Otherwise cords reform easily.
  • What it means is that after cord cutting, your behaviour in that relationship is no longer programmed, or out of control, or habitual. You have control over your responses and you must choose a positive response now to replace the old one.
  • Examine your needs which made gave you the fears and unhealthy behaviour in the first place. Every relationship is based out of a need to fulfil some internal lack. That lack is always related to self-image. Ask yourself what impulses or lacks motivated you to seek such unhealthy relationship or behaviour in the past. Start working that lack instead of seeking to fulfil from outside.

We hope this article will come in useful on your self-healing journey. You can always find this article from our archives by clicking on the ‘Self Help’ tag or category.

Thanks

Purple Room Healing

Suggested Readings:

How much time do you spend for your mental health?

Eternal Human Conflict: What should be and what is?

House Cleansing: Balancing the energies of your space

Photo Courtesy by Freedigitalphotos.net

“Sister And Brother Friendship” by artur84
“Couple In Love Having Break Up” by smarnad
“Deep Forest Waterfall” by pat138241
“Hand” by Salvatore Vuono
“Tug Of War Between Two Girls” by meepoohfoto
“Tied Hand” by Danilo Rizzuti
“Violet” by zirconicusso
“Abstract Smoke” by Worakit Sirijinda
“Stars Are Falling On The Background Of Blue Luminous Rays” by SOMMAI

The Cinderella Syndrome

ImageImagine this: A poor lonely girl sitting alone by herself on a starlit night full of sorrow and suffering. She is quietly weeping for herself and her pitiable condition. She has nobody to talk to and everybody around her is treating her badly including her family. She hopes somebody would come to her aid. She is yearning for her prince and savior to come along and save her from her plight. Someone who would love her with all his heart and make her worthy of her life. This is the Cinderella Syndrome.

We all know the Cinderella story. The poor fatherless girl mistreated by her step-mother and made to scrub the floor all day. She yearns for a better life and weeps all night long. One day her step-sisters go to the ball at the palace. Cinderella wishes she could go to the ball too. And lo, a fairy godmother appears and turns Cinderella’s rags into a lovely dress, and rats and pumpkin into horses and a chariot. Cinderella dances with the prince at the ball who is taken by her beauty. By the hour of midnight, heeding the warning of the Fairy godmother, Cinderella rushes out of the ball leaving behind her glass slipper. The prince has his staff search for the girl whose foot would fit the glass slipper. Cinderella’s foot fits and she is married to the prince, and she lives ever after.

ImageThe Cinderella Syndrome is a real life situation of a fatherless girl who was unconsciously playing the Cinderella for real. Unfortunately, Cinderella stories don’t end well in reality. This girl had prince after prince coming to her rescue but they would then eventually desert her and go.

This happens because her mind had to survive her identity which she formed of herself from early childhood. And that identity was that of a lonely, suffering girl who is hurt by near and dear again and again. Once the mind forms an identity for the person, its goal is to keep it alive – to keep both the body and the identity alive. So for this girl, in spite of yearning and manifesting princes into her life, her mind has to still keep her lonely and suffering, hurt by near and dear. Now the near and dear also include her romantic relationships. Yet her desperation to get out of the situation is also real.

So she battles with herself endlessly. She manages to attract guys who would take advantage of her desperation and then dump her. She would be left once more the poor Cinderella. After a few repeated such incidents she has a fear of relationships which all the more helps her to remain the suffering Cinderella.

Real life Cinderella is helpless by choice, derives melancholic enjoyment of her loneliness, noble in her own view due to her uncomplaining (not entirely) suffering. Her self-pity, self-hatred, and her pride keep her remaining that way.

There is only one way for real life Cinderellas to get out of this miserable loop – to decide not to be a Cinderella in the first place. They need to give up their life story. They need to look beneath the voids they carry within to find out their true self. The Cinderella Syndrome is an addiction to pain.

Most real life Cinderellas carry a deep void within. They wait for an outside hero to come and fill that void. This is their second mistake. The first and their biggest mistake is in assuming they are the void within. Instead of trying to fill the void, they need to question the reality of the void they carry within. Is she the identity she formed in her childhood? Or is she somebody else? Can she, as a life, survive if that identity is snatched away from her? The day real life Cinderellas can give a yes to the last question, they can effectively come out of their troubles and heal their lives.

Frustration: The shortcut to failure

Frustration is the real enemy that thwarts our attempts towards success. It can also be used to motivate yourself but you need to be very careful in such an endeavor.

Here’s a failure scenario:

Sam is a young man who wants to get rid of chronic negative thinking. So he reads some mind management techniques online and finds motivation. He decides that he is going to be a changed man free from negative thoughts and starts applying the techniques he’s learnt with rigorous zeal. His first attempt fails; he perseveres. His second attempt fails; he perseveres. His third attempt fails and he gets disappointed but not discouraged; he perseveres. His fourth attempt fails; he begins to get frustrated. Doubts about success begin in Sam’s head. But he still decides to forge ahead. His fifth attempt fails. This time Sam gets really irritated. Somewhere he begins to believe he would never succeed. He decides to try once more. His seventh failure breaks his resolve. He bursts out in frustration. In frustration he gives up and concludes that negative thinking is a part of his nature and there is nothing he can do about it. Instantly he is barraged with a volley of negative thoughts to ‘prove his point’.

Doesn’t this scenario sound familiar or, perhaps, even personal?

 

Frustration is a double edged sword. We can use it to motivate us or to…well, frustrate us! We need to use it carefully or keep it at bay altogether. For frustration easily thwarts our attempts to change ourselves.

When we are attempting to resolve an issue within, say like negative thinking or anger, we are in fact attempting to change a belief or trying to get rid of a strong habit that is coming from the subconscious mind. Now the subconscious, though an extremely powerful part of our mind, cannot discriminate right from wrong. So any suggestions put into it, provided there are no opposing stronger beliefs, it simply executes that belief like a computer executes a program. The subconscious makes our beliefs true and keeps on doing it until we alter the beliefs. So it is but natural that it takes consistent conscious effort on our part to resolve these issues. But it is also natural that as humans we tend to get impatient. However, if we let that impatience and frustration convince us to give up working towards an issue then we can never be free from our problems.

The second reason why frustration comes so easily is because of a false belief that we all tend to hold. We believe that when we fail all our previous efforts towards resolving an issue are wasted and, essentially, “we are back to square one”. That is a false belief. And that very belief is enough to keep us forever in the issue loop.

We tend to assume efforts to change ourselves is like building a house of cards and one failure will cause the entire structure to come tumbling down. We exercise self-control for a long time and then suddenly the issue bursts out, and we think all our efforts have been wasted. Not a single resource in life is wasted by our mind. Every effort we put towards self-healing is a real learning for our mind as well as our body. We never ‘go back’ on an issue. We are constantly moving with every moment in life. Are we moving out of the issue or are we pulling ourselves deeper into the quagmire is the real question. Frustration only pushes us deeper into the issue.

The very knowledge that our efforts can never be wasted and that frustration is the real enemy can give you the power to overcome your frustration. Just carry this awareness in your head and constantly remind yourself of it in every attempt to change yourself. Next time you find frustration peeping into your head, just wag your finger at it and tell it get out. It is very easy to do once you learn frustration is the real enemy for success.

Setbacks are a part of life. Failure only comes when we actually give up.

Photo courtesy: From http://www.freedigitalphotos.net Photo by ‘graur razvan ionut’

Open and Receptive Mind: The First Step towards Healing

The biggest hinderance to resolving issues is our narrow minded approach and defensive behavior.

What would put an end to our problems? How can I heal myself? These questions inevitably plague in our lives minds.

I may not know of a single cure-all solution for all problems of life, mind, body, and soul, but I know for sure what is required to effectively kick-start a healing process, to put us on our path to resolving our problems.

The one essential pre-requisite for healing is an open and receptive mind.

Once we have acknowledged our problems and once we have decided to work on it, we begin to look around for an effective solution for our problem. But we never realize the biggest hinderance to resolving issues is our narrow minded approach and defensive behavior.

All of our issues have roots in the past and it requires an extraordinarily open mind to explore those roots. Sometimes we are presented with theories and connections that appear impossible. Sometimes we are given advice that appears mundane. But if we do not reject those ideas and consider them with a receptive mind, we will find revealing truths and hidden treasures.

Let me give a simple example:
Suppose you are suffering from low self-esteem and your friends tell that most of your thoughts are biased and you see only negative aspects of yourself in every event. Your first instinct is to simply reject that thought.

But if you were to consider the truth in that advice and try to assess it in a real situation, you will find that you are indeed biased in self-assessment. In fact, you have made ‘biased self-assessment’ a framework from which you always operate. And it is from this vantage point that you even reject friend’s advice in the first place.

But by receiving this idea and moving beyond the self-imposed framework, you would have achieved three benefits:

You would have discovered your self-inhibiting framework.
You would have made a correct initial diagnosis for the problem.
And by merely being aware of this framework, you can always reject your first instincts to criticise yourself and re-assess your performance in any event.
Thus you would have started breaking down the problem methodically and effectively.

A decision to be open and receptive, and being watchful in implementing that decision is the most effective and least painful route to healing.