Eclipses – The Spiritual Significance by Anoo

This is a guest post by a dear friend and an intuitive healer Anoo at Breakthrough Holistic Therapy Center. Anoo is a Hypnotherapist and a Reiki Healer with additional specializations in NLP, EFT, Shadow Work, Matrix Reimprinting, Gestalt Therapy and Chakra Healing. You can get in touch with her at

After listening to her perspective on eclipses and learning how to effectively shield myself from any ill-effects of eclipses, I requested her to put her learning and advice in writing so everybody else could benefit from it. Her article is below:

blood moon

Everyone waited with bated breath after they collectively prayed. Will He agree to destroy the three invincible and constantly mobile cities?

The demons Kamalaksha, Vidyunmali, and Tarakaksha, sons of the asura (demon) king Tarakasura, had created these architectural wonders, these three cities made of gold, silver, and copper, which would constantly keep flying throughout the universe. Proud of their architectural feat and their invincibility, together they terrorized and wreaked havoc across the different worlds in the universe.

Defeated, the Gods approached Shiva, the Destroyer, and Regenerator, “Please save us Lord!” they pleaded. “The demons have made the three cities called Tripura totally impregnable. And the only way to destroy the cities along with demons is by shooting a single arrow when for a brief moment in time the three cities align in a straight line.  Also, the arrow is to be shot by the one who is the most powerful in the universe and yet who has no desire to harm enemies, and out of a sense of duty decides to destroy the three cities and kill the demons. The chariot on which he mounts should be of a kind never seen before in the universe. And the bow should be so unique that such a kind does not exist in the world right now. You are the only One Oh Lord who can save all the worlds from them!”


Much to their relief, Shiva agreed. Shiva made the earth His chariot with the sun and moon as its wheels. Mount Mandara became the bow with Adi Sesha, the serpent of time as its bowstring. Vishnu Himself became the arrow. Together they followed the three cities throughout the universe waiting for that moment in a thousand years when all the three cities of Tripura would line up in a single file.

Line up, they did. In a flash, Shiva let loose His powerful arrow and Tripura was reduced to ashes.

Smearing the ashes of the burnt cities on His body Shiva then danced in ecstasy.

The three cities represent the individual world, the social world and the entire world as is.

When the conditions are conducive all it takes is the unleashing of a single arrow of consciousness (Shiva the essence of every soul) to:

  1. destroy an individual’s personal world, the beliefs about what makes up his/her identity.
  2. destroy his/her societal world or all the beliefs about how to fit into and follow the society and its dictates.
  3. destroy the entire world as perceived by the individual.

This is what an eclipse points towards within you.

Destruction, transformation, and regeneration.

Eclipses are spiritually known to be the harbingers of change.
They are pointers nudging you to look within and acknowledge parts of you that are eclipsed deep down in your own unconscious mind, waiting to be released into the light of your awareness.

A lunar eclipse occurs when the sun and the moon are aligned in a straight line exactly on the opposite sides of the earth, and the moon passes directly behind Earth and into its shadow. Lunar eclipses occur during full moon.

A solar eclipse on the other hand occurs at the opposite phase of the moon – new moon. It occurs when the moon passes between the sun and earth and it fully or partially blocks the sunlight. In either case the source of light gets eclipsed.

Time and again what is noticeable is how people actually notice changes happening during eclipses, full moons, or new moons. Call it a psychological effect of natural cycles, yet these cycles seem to remind one of the inevitability of the end of things and new beginnings. It is as if an eclipse only highlights the new waves of awareness and the death of old modes of thinking in the collective psyche of people.

During an eclipse, or in other words when the source of light is cut off for sometime all that lies in the shadows within a person’s unconscious mind, things that a person would not like to accept about himself/herself or about a given situation, or things that a person has developed a blind spot towards, steps to the fore to be seen, understood, acknowledged, and let go of.

It is said that spiritually in lunar cycles, every full moon offers us a chance to purge out what is not working in our lives, maybe old stagnant patterns of thinking and functioning which act as barriers to success and abundance, dysfunctional relationships, dissatisfactory modes of earning a living, in other words, whatever is no longer serving our highest good.

When there is an eclipse in the offing, however, we are not given a chance, or to be more apt, a choice. It forces the purging and cleanses and detoxifies.

Without a warning, unexpected changes may occur hastening in transitions into life, that could make you feel a little disoriented.

This is a period of facing your inner demons consciously.

And Shiva is the ultimate consciousness driving the destruction of your identity, the mask that you wear to hide what you think is your imperfect self, uncaging you from all social constructs and demands, tearing to pieces what you consider and perceive to be the world and freeing you to emerge as the source of light and darkness that you truly are.

An eclipse sets the giant wheels of the universe in motion for you to see the truth in any situation, no matter however unpleasant or distressing and finally realize that this too shall pass.

For what is true today may not be your truth tomorrow, as truth too constantly changes form.


There is, however, one constant absolute truth on this earth and that is change.

Sometimes the changes or transitions are joyous, though you might feel a tad uncertain about the future, at other times the transition transforms and rearranges your entire perception of reality. The result is always positive in the long run, even though it may not be apparent in the now, much like when you drive you will be able to see only about 140 metres ahead but not see the entire road leading to the destination.

Also it has been observed the aggravation of symptoms of dormant or even active health conditions occurs during eclipses bringing to the fore the psychosomatic causes of all illnesses, which are almost always disregarded by us. It maybe due to the age-old collective psychological conditioning of people, deeply rooted in spiritual beliefs and archetypes and the natural cycles. The aggravation of symptoms, be they emotional or physical, simply serve as pointers to look within and consciously resolve what lies unresolved, deep in the unconscious.

Ancient traditions world over suggest a few preparatory practices, to keep troubling symptoms at bay and to make the most of the immensely transformative, collective psychological energies, of a full moon lunar eclipse.

These practices help to harness the transformative psychological energies and facilitate a ‘soft landing’ during the transition as opposed to a ‘hard landing’ that a tornado can cause (which somehow reminds me of Dorothy and Toto of Wizard of Oz totally unprepared and caught up in a cyclone, later experiencing a hard landing in the country of the Munchkins.) when we are totally unprepared.

After all, spirituality as much as science is a process that requires active participation from your end.

It always takes two to tango!

  • Fast or Eat your Last Meal Two Hours Prior to the Eclipse: During eclipses solar as well as lunar, fasting is advised by different spiritual preceptors across many traditions in the world.
    A study performed in 2011 showed that enhanced radiation of ultraviolet and other rays occur during an eclipse. This may also make the atmosphere conducive for some bacteria to thrive. If fasting is not possible at least make sure you eat your food two hours before the eclipse starts. The food needs to be digested before the eclipse begins. Leftover cooked foods from the eclipse should be disposed off.
  • Protect your boundaries: According to many traditions eclipses can also increase the emotional sensitivity to foreign energies, which can include simply being more sensitive towards that nasty bullying co-worker, or a gossiping neighbor, or even getting a sense of near and dear ones who have passed away which has a deeply psychological side to it.
    An easy thumb-rule to follow is to stay away from anyone who pushes your buttons, starting from at least three days preceding a full moon lunar eclipse and continuing to stay away till three days after the eclipse. But yes, that is not possible in most cases unless you are a complete homebody. Then too nasty relatives could be the trigger points!
    So you can follow this simple visualization exercise which is highly effective for protecting your personal boundaries. Whenever you are anywhere near people who trigger your emotions negatively, simply imagine a golden circle around you and another circle around them.
    Mentally say to yourself, “you shall not be able to cross my personal boundary and I shall not cross yours.”
    You can also do the spiritual exercise of cord cutting with people who disturb you at this time as a full moon lunar eclipse in any way is also about letting go of what you don’t need in your life.
    But before you cut the cords, make sure you understand why you have such people around you in the first place. For as the saying goes, teachers will continue to appear untill you have learnt your lesson!
    There is something you have not learnt about yourself and therefore you have that nasty co-worker bullying you, or that spouse abusing you, or you even repeatedly get stuck in traffic jams! When you see what actually lies behind your blind spot, or what lurks deep in the shadows within you, and acknowledge it all with compassion, forgive yourself and anyone else concerned, and let go, age-old dysfunctional patterns (maybe even inherited from your parents) fall away and get reduced to dust.

(Remember, the story of Tripura crumbling to dust narrated above?)

    To deal with other subtler forms of energies, more precisely, non-physical, i.e. spirits and entities you believe you can sense, you can perform a house cleanse by smudging the entire house and placing some crystal salt in areas where you sense the presence is strong.
    You can create a circle with the salt in the area or put some salt in a bowl and place it in the area.  This sends strong signals to your unconscious mind that you are taking steps to take care of yourself. That itself will provide a boost to your inner strength.
    Also, make sure you take saltwater baths and then perform a shielding exercise to protect your aura or your personal boundary. To do the shielding exercise simply close your eyes and visualize a bright white light cocooning you from head to toe. Repeat to yourself, “I am surrounded by a cocoon of light which allows only positive energies inside and reflects all the negative energies back to the source and transmutes them.”
  • Meditate: Eclipses are times when you suddenly see the truth in situations whether you like it or not. Make use of that energy by meditating consciously and letting whatever arises to come up. Meditating is not focusing or concentrating hard. It is about creating a safe space for yourself so that all the suppressed feelings and emotions can finally come up and be released once and for all. Do some guided meditation much before the scheduled eclipse date. This will keep your emotions and energies in balance. Most importantly this will still your mind and bring you to that peaceful silent space. And “God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer.” – Mother Teresa
  • Pray: This is a perfect time to attune yourself to higher vibrations. Prayer is what will give birth to the possibilities for the real invincible you to emerge. You may be called to give up something to enter a new phase in your life. That is the process of unpeeling and emptying out. Yes, it may seem frightening. For, nothing scares a human being more than the uncertainty of an unknown zone. But that is the beauty of it. Uncertainty is the space where miracles occur. Do not be hijacked by your fears for then you will be only shadow boxing. The eclipse needs to end and your soul in all its power needs to shine through.
    Prayers can be the vehicle inciting surrender and putting you in touch with the Higher Power. It can be in any form. It can be a plain conversation with God, or any chants that you like that resonate with your being.

You never know which chant can awaken the God within you.

Eclipses in general show you the value of darkness, for, it is in the darkness of a womb that a new life is born, for under the ground in the dark a seed has to split and die for a sapling to be born, a caterpillar has to die in the darkness of the cocoon to emerge as a butterfly.

Eclipses thus stand for metamorphosis, heralding in your freedom.

Anoo is a Hypnotherapist and a Reiki Healer with additional specializations in NLP, EFT, Shadow Work, Matrix Reimprinting, Gestalt Therapy and Chakra Healing. You can get in touch with her at

Reiki can develop your intuition

Every human is an intuitive being. The world of intuition opens up a whole new world and for those who’ve seen it, there’s no unseeing. Reiki can open up a whole new way of ‘seeing’ the world!

Reiki can open up a whole new way of ‘seeing’ the world!

Every human is an intuitive being. Children are more attuned to it than adults because in the process of growing up and being schooled into an exclusive rational thought process, we eventually listen less and less to our intuition and finally lose touch with it. But our intuition is never really gone, and we can re-learn to listen to it and even develop it if we choose to. All it needs is a regular practice of listening to ourselves. There are many methods to revive our intuitive capabilities and I’m writing about Reiki practice and how it can sensitize us to our inner voice once more.

I’ve been practicing Reiki for over five years now. Over the years, I’ve seen my own intuitive abilities spiral and bloom and still continue to grow. Though there are other practises that I do too, my Reiki practice has significantly contributed to increasing my intuition levels. I have seen myself change from a non-believing skeptic of intuition to someone who relies on it on an everyday basis with my Reiki practice. The reason being consistent practice. Of course, I cannot boast of uninterrupted practice of Reiki meditation for months or years. Like all beginners, there were days or weeks altogether where I did not practice any meditations or take up Reiki healing sessions. Like any beginner, I could not ‘feel’ anything upon my palms or energy pass through my hands. Like many novices, when I scanned a person I came up with nothing on several occasions. Yet by the simple virtue of going back to my practice again and again, I was able to gradually develop my intuitive abilities and also explore the world of energy healing.

Reiki is an energy healing system and works on the principle that all living beings are filled with a life-force energy (Qi, Chi or Prana) and the source of that life-force is universal life-force said to be available all around us to readily tap into anytime. Reiki practice helps draw in that Qi energy and use it to heal our own energy blocks and deficiencies and also channel it to others who are in need of healing.

Naturally, if we are to heal people we ought to be able to diagnose what’s wrong with them in the first place. Reiki practice offers a few meditative tools to build the intuitive abilities of the healer for them to make accurate diagnosis of the ailment. And every Reiki healing session also tremendously attunes the intuition of the practioner. Only thing left in the hands of the practioner is practice!

I’ve noticed that today Reiki is a part of my lifestyle and intuition is something that I rely on for nearly everything. When I meet new persons, I notice it is my intuitive impressions are that are usually correct than my rational judgment of them. When I counsel people, I rely on my intuitive sense which gives seemingly random messages which turn out to be relevant to the client. I’ve learnt to heed my inner sense to make decisions in my life and also do not hesitate to make split second changes if my intuition says so. Of course, this is all possible only if we can know the difference between intuitive sense and our sense of fear. Because both of them can are gut reactions and can be mistaken for one another. Here again Reiki is helping me by healing through my fears and teaching to me listen to subtle signs that tell intuition apart from fear.

The more and more as I’m attuned into my intuitive sense, I’m discovering many more paths for me to explore, be fascinated by, and use to heal myself and others. The world of intuition opens up a whole new world and for those who’ve seen it, there’s no unseeing.

Dragon on a Trapeze – our first ebook!

Dragon on a Trapeze by deadmanswill. A book of verses and my personal memoir – emotional, spiritual and delusional is here



dragon on a trapeze cover
Promotional Offer: Download this ebook for FREE from Amazon on 2, 3 November 2017

Over the last few of years, I’ve been writing about my emotional and spiritual experiences as verses on Facebook and on other places. Some of them are about intense emotional experiences, some of them about my depression phase, some of them spiritual in nature, some about my mindfulness practice, and some about my seeking for meaning of life. Recently I’ve compiled them all at one place and edited about 70 of them into an ebook. This book is out on Amazon now. It can be downloaded to mobiles and tablets (through Amazon Kindle App), and to all Kindle reading devices.

Tomorrow and the day after (Nov 2 and 3) I have put up a promotional offer on the book, so it can be downloaded for free to your mobiles and kindle devices on those two days. Please make use of this if you are interested in reading the book. And if you find the book interesting, please leave a candid review on the Amazon page.

Here is a description of the book:

We all are on a pilgrimage towards our very being and existence. Constantly battling for everyday survival and yet on a quest to answer life’s vital questions. What keeps us moving in life? And what makes us dig into our past? What is it that makes us tick? Where is Life taking us? Once the seeker in us wakes up there is no going back! On one hand we are human in our emotions and aspirations, yet on an another, much deeper level we are sacred beings that is seeking the very source of its existence and a richer meaning of life. Who are we really?

This book of verses is an account of one such pilgrimage. Through personal hell and heaven in a search for the eternal. Through emotional ups and downs, through the metaphors of religions and the archetypes of Hindu Mythology, through the natural world and the valleys within, through the duality of existence and mindfulness of this moment, until the Dragon on a Trapeze emerges and the firefly in the Heart awakens!


When home wobbles like a top
And we find no sacred ground to stand firm
The dragon on a trapeze
Comes to the rescue


Would my head stop wobbling
Like a planet
Drunk with love and fear!
Can I slip out of this familiar orbit!


When I walk in silence
Amidst the falling leaves
And autumn sunshine
I see you


If the sun burns the heart,
The moon cleaves the mind,
And truth splits the tongue,
Then who fires the stomach?


When the juggler finally arrives
Will he paint a garish smile on my dead face
Or would he rekindle the joy and toss the corpse?
An oasis of hope in the desert of seeking


Let the duet end
And the dancers vanish
And let it be known
That all movement
Is within!

Reiki Healing in Hyderabad

Purple Room Healing is now in Hyderabad with Reiki Healing and Reiki Workshops only. Currently our services include:

Reiki Healing for
Physical Diseases like Diabetes, Allergies, Blood Pressure, Joint or Body Pains, Migraine Headaches, Asthma, Arthritis, Spondylitis, Stress Relief, etc.
Emotional and Relationship Issues
Spirit/Energy Attachments

For Appointment and other queries contact:
Geetha Pallavi
Reiki Master – William Lee Rand
Mob: 9394301400

We Are Going On A Long Leave

Short GoodbyeThere come many opportunities in a person’s life when they can choose to follow their hearts or continue living in fears and insecurities of the mind. We (Geetha and I) have passed through quite a few and perhaps there lie a few more ahead of us. Most of the times, our choice was of the heart but once in a while we let our fears cloud us and keep us in the same of loop of suffering. We are once more at one such juncture in our lives.

This time the choice was unhesitating and simultaneous for both of us. Now, we’ve both come to a clear realization that further and truer healing cannot happen with conventional therapy but rather through a deeper introspection and awareness. And stepping into pure present moment awareness means we cannot avoid stepping into the unknown that follows it immediately. And to do that we realized we simply have to put in more faith into the life within and trust it to take care of us. And we are doing that. We are going away together to explore and experiment in deeper and truer healing. And, as usual with our lives so far, the experiment is first on us. We didn’t have to go away to let this healing happen, but the moment the realization to heal deeper came for us the universe opened doors for a perfect space to heal!

As a result, we are both taking a long sabbatical and we are closing Purple Room Healing for the public. The leave is for at least six months. The blog and all its articles will still be available for you all. We are also opening a site and another blog to share our onward (and inward) journey and to write about the practice of awareness. We will announce them here soon once we have made the physical transition to our new home and personal healing space.

Thank you all clients and friends who made this journey with us. We learnt a lot from each of you and we hope each of you had equally benefited through the help we could extend.

“The only freedom we’ve got is not to react to anything, but to turn within and know the truth.” – Robert Adams

Positive Visualization Technique for Hair Growth

As promised in the previous post (Hypnotherapy Treatment for Hair Loss), here is a positive visualization technique for hair growth. This technique is for a receding hairline. It can help slow down baldness as well as promote the growth of hairline forward towards the forehead. This is a technique I personally used.


Positive Visualization Technique for Healthy and Beautiful Hair!
Positive Visualization Technique for Healthy and Beautiful Hair!

The positive visualization technique is simple. Just stand before a mirror. Examine the hair growth near the temples just above your sideburns. This is a place where hair is always thick and lush. If you notice bald heads, the hair just above the sideburns is the last to fall or usually doesn’t fall at all. Get that visual of thick and rich hair and scalp above your sideburns firmly into your mind.

Now run three fingers into the hair near your temples. Make sure you touch the scalp there. While you are running your fingers into your hair and scalp above your sideburns, visualize that your fingers are picking up the energies or the ability of the hair growth on the scalp there, as if the thickness of hair there is contagious and it will spread into any area of your scalp your fingers will touch next. Do this visualization and rubbing for a few seconds.

Now use the same three fingers and lightly rub them into the scalp wherever the hairline is receding. Run the fingers through the hair with forward motions from inside the hairline towards the bald scalp all the while visualizing that the area you are rubbing is getting infected with good health of the scalp and thickness of the hair that your fingers picked up over the sideburns. Visualize the health is spreading fast into the whole area.

Repeat the process a few times over. Running your fingers into your scalp above the sideburns while visualizing the health is contagious and then running the same fingers into the receding hairline in forward motions visualizing the health is spreading into this area.

Get away from the mirror immediately. Avoid lingering in front of the mirror after the visualization is over. This can cause to bring the old habit of brooding over the baldness and filling your head with negative affirmations. Avoid that.

Do this positive visualization for a few weeks. You will soon notice that the hairline is moving forward again and the hair is growing thicker too.


Imagination more important than physical action: More than the action rubbing the fingers into the hair, the imagination that health is contagious and that it is spreading as soon as you touch the fingers over the receding hairline.

Work on half inch of bald scalp at a time: Work step by step with a little area at a time. Start with rubbing bald scalp just up to half inch before the hairline. This will help you keep the visualization real and believable in the beginning. Once you see new hair growth, you will have enough confidence to cover more bald areas without losing the believability.

Stop checking: This is the trick that can bring great results. Stop checking whether the technique is working or not for a period of three to four weeks after you started the positive visualization technique. This will help you keep away from losing confidence on the technique as well as help you keep the negative suggestions to a minimum. After we start noticing our hair loss, we increase the stress often by brooding negatively in front of a mirror whenever we find an opportunity. Avoid this as much as you can for the next few weeks.

Be very consistent: As much as the success of this positive visualization technique for hair growth depends on the visualization that much the success also relies on consistency of the exercise. You can do this exercise just once a day or multiple times on days when you find time. But repeating this exercise at least once a day over a few weeks, say 3-4 weeks, is very important.

Of course, if there is a lot of stress and anxiety currently in your life due to some other issues, then it will help to undergo guided hypnotherapy sessions along with this technique in order to deal with stored anxiety and to learn to manage stress through relaxation techniques like self-hypnosis, meditation, etc.

I personally found great results with this positive visualization technique whenever I used it. It worked every time I used it. I also got positive reports from clients who used this technique.

Photo Courtesy:
artur84 at

Hypnotherapy Treatment for Hair Fall

Positive Visualization and Hypnotherapy can help in promoting healthy hair growth.
Positive Visualization and Hypnotherapy can help in promoting healthy hair growth.

One of the best uses of Hypnotherapy lies in using it to improve health and performance through positive affirmations, visualization and Self Hypnosis. Hypnotherapy and positive affirmations can fetch great results for physical health and well-being.

One such great application is use of positive visualization in controlling hair fall or even promoting hair growth. One of the major reasons for hair loss is stress and anxiety. There are other reasons too like hereditary, poor health and diet, etc. Even in these cases anxiety can accelerate the hair fall tremendously.

Hypnotherapy is a very safe method to reduce hair fall as well as promote hair growth. It has absolutely no side effects and also decreases the overall stress and anxiety levels of the clients.

Using visualization techniques, positive affirmations, and self-hypnosis, clients see a significant hair growth and also increase the health of the hair condition. The course of hair loss treatment can last over a few weeks or longer depending on severity of the issue and the response rate.

One important factor in having better results is attitude of the client towards the therapy. The more positive a client is towards the therapy the better the results. Hypnotherapy relies on power of suggestion and the readiness of the client to accept such suggestions. Hair loss being caused by anxiety and other temporary causes like poor diet, etc. respond well to the program. Some hair fall conditions may not be worked through hypnotherapy.

In the next post I shall share a very simple visualization technique to promote hair growth in receding hairlines.

At Purple Room Healing we are conducting guided hypnotherapy and positive visualization programs for hair loss and hair growth starting this month in Chennai. You can contact us on 9500117031 during weekdays between 10 am and 5 pm.

Suggested Readings:

Hypnotherapy and Physical Diseases

Photo Courtesy:
Ambro at

The Cinderella Syndrome

ImageImagine this: A poor lonely girl sitting alone by herself on a starlit night full of sorrow and suffering. She is quietly weeping for herself and her pitiable condition. She has nobody to talk to and everybody around her is treating her badly including her family. She hopes somebody would come to her aid. She is yearning for her prince and savior to come along and save her from her plight. Someone who would love her with all his heart and make her worthy of her life. This is the Cinderella Syndrome.

We all know the Cinderella story. The poor fatherless girl mistreated by her step-mother and made to scrub the floor all day. She yearns for a better life and weeps all night long. One day her step-sisters go to the ball at the palace. Cinderella wishes she could go to the ball too. And lo, a fairy godmother appears and turns Cinderella’s rags into a lovely dress, and rats and pumpkin into horses and a chariot. Cinderella dances with the prince at the ball who is taken by her beauty. By the hour of midnight, heeding the warning of the Fairy godmother, Cinderella rushes out of the ball leaving behind her glass slipper. The prince has his staff search for the girl whose foot would fit the glass slipper. Cinderella’s foot fits and she is married to the prince, and she lives ever after.

ImageThe Cinderella Syndrome is a real life situation of a fatherless girl who was unconsciously playing the Cinderella for real. Unfortunately, Cinderella stories don’t end well in reality. This girl had prince after prince coming to her rescue but they would then eventually desert her and go.

This happens because her mind had to survive her identity which she formed of herself from early childhood. And that identity was that of a lonely, suffering girl who is hurt by near and dear again and again. Once the mind forms an identity for the person, its goal is to keep it alive – to keep both the body and the identity alive. So for this girl, in spite of yearning and manifesting princes into her life, her mind has to still keep her lonely and suffering, hurt by near and dear. Now the near and dear also include her romantic relationships. Yet her desperation to get out of the situation is also real.

So she battles with herself endlessly. She manages to attract guys who would take advantage of her desperation and then dump her. She would be left once more the poor Cinderella. After a few repeated such incidents she has a fear of relationships which all the more helps her to remain the suffering Cinderella.

Real life Cinderella is helpless by choice, derives melancholic enjoyment of her loneliness, noble in her own view due to her uncomplaining (not entirely) suffering. Her self-pity, self-hatred, and her pride keep her remaining that way.

There is only one way for real life Cinderellas to get out of this miserable loop – to decide not to be a Cinderella in the first place. They need to give up their life story. They need to look beneath the voids they carry within to find out their true self. The Cinderella Syndrome is an addiction to pain.

Most real life Cinderellas carry a deep void within. They wait for an outside hero to come and fill that void. This is their second mistake. The first and their biggest mistake is in assuming they are the void within. Instead of trying to fill the void, they need to question the reality of the void they carry within. Is she the identity she formed in her childhood? Or is she somebody else? Can she, as a life, survive if that identity is snatched away from her? The day real life Cinderellas can give a yes to the last question, they can effectively come out of their troubles and heal their lives.

Self Pity and Self Hatred: Two Dangerous Extremes

feeling sorry for oneselfLow self-esteem issues are quite common to my practice. In fact, all therapies in one way or the other have to do with self-image. And when we suffer from a low self-esteem problem and are unable to resolve it, we manage to cover it from the world by taking a defensive stand. Some become reserved and gruff, some put up a false intellectual front, some pretend to be uber happy, and some turn shy and silent, and then there are hundred other ways to cover it up.

Dealing with self-esteem issues or any issue for that matter is not a big deal if we are really willing to resolve our problems. But there are times when some of us tend to take an extreme stand about themselves after years of struggling with issues. One one extreme is self pity and other self hatred.

From a healing point of view, both are really dangerous attitudes. Because they not only prevent us from effectively resolving our issues but also become a very important reason why we are facing issues also. Let us see how.

Self pity is a sorry state. A person with self pity begins to see himself in a sorry state and as a figure of sacrifice. He feels he is a helpless victim of any situation and believes he would remain so. He often spends time in pitying himself and blaming others for his plight. He comes to feel so bad for himself so much that they readily accept the victim’s role as a part of who they are.

And once that happens, they continue to attract situations where they can play victims. The mind always makes true what it believes. It manipulates situations and people around to fulfill its needs and beliefs. So once the person believes he is a victim, he unconsciously seeks to worm himself into situations where he could become one. It is like if you become a doctor, you need to treat patients to justify your role. So you set up a medical practice and start seeking people with illnesses. Much similarly, the mind starts looking for situations and people who would victimize it so the self-pity is justified. These people carry a lot of resentment and anger within.

self hatredSelf hatred also works similarly but on the opposite side of the scale. Person who hates herself usually start playing the role of a perpetrator. She needs to justify her hatred. She just starts looking for victims and situations where she could have reasons to hate herself. In her mind, it’s all her fault! These people also carry a lot of guilt. They also carry a need to punish themselves.

People on these two extremes have a need to make sad stories of their lives. The truth is that need is neither ‘subconscious’ or ‘unconscious’. There is no need for a hypnotherapy regression or ‘psychological evaluation’ to bring up this need to the surface. All one has to do is to watch their thoughts and the motivations will be readily seen. If you can watch your thoughts with complete honesty – which means without denying or resisting them in any way – you can readily find out if you are carrying any of these traits in you. By watching your thoughts, you can also easily realize how you are manipulating yourself into a victim’s or a perpetrator’s role

This becomes the first block to any healing or therapy.  This needs to go in order to resolve other issues in your life. How can self pity and self hatred be healed? All you need is consistent refusal to take that attitude. Be alert in your head and watch your thoughts keenly. The moment you start feeling sorry for yourself and anger for situation or the moment you start cursing yourself and feel severe guilt, just move into the present moment and refuse to take that attitude. Be consistent and you can easily come out of that viewpoint.

Suggested Readings:
Emotional Drama
Power of Manifestation
It’s too late now!

Picture Courtesy: David Castillo Dominici @

Personalized Reiki Healing Workshop – 29, 30 Dec 2012

Our previous personalized Reiki Workshop in Chennai
Our previous personalized Reiki Workshop in Chennai

Successfully end this year by becoming a Reiki Healer. Set your own spiritual path by learning this self healing technique.

A personalized Reiki Healing Level 1 and 2 Workshop is being conducted at our premises in Besant Nagar (Near Adyar), Chennai on this 29th and 30th of December, 2012 (Saturday and Sunday). Personalized workshop means the number of seats are limited to maximum 6 people only. The attunements are done one-on-one. No group attunements. Ample time for practice in the workshop. Lunch is provided by us at the premises during the Reiki classes.

Reiki is a Japanese form of Alternative Healing System where the Reiki Healer channelizes healing energies into the client to heal an assortment of issues. Reiki also promotes general and spiritual well-being of a person, improves health, relieves stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety are the root causes for many ailments physical, mental as well as emotional. More about Reiki Healing and Reiki FAQs.

Course Contents:

Day 1

Introduction to Japanese Gasho Meditation
Introduction to Energy Healing and Body Mind Connection (Holisitic Healing Methodology)
Basics of Chakra System, Aura, and Higher Self
Hand Positions for Reiki Self Healing
Reiki Attunement by Reiki Master
Hand Positions for Treating Others
Aura Scanning Technique
Cord Cutting Technique for self protection
Practice on Self Healing
Hands-on Practice on one another

Day 2

Introduction to Symbols of Advanced Healing
Use of Symbols
Beaming Reiki to others
Reiki Level 2 Attunement
Introduction to Spirit Guides
Energy Clearing Techniques
Detecting and cleansing energies attached to houses and places.
Cleansing Crystals with Reiki
How to give a Full Treatment for a Client
Reiki Box for Healing many issues at a time

Attunement by Reiki Master in Level 1 makes you a Reiki healer and you can start healing yourself and others through hands-on healing method. In level 2 your Reiki flow is improved and you gain the ability to do distance healing – wherein the client need not be physically present for a healing session. Reiki is a wonderful tool to heal yourself, your family, friends, and others.

Those interested may call Kiran @ 9500117031 for details & registration. No spot registrations. Please read the Reiki FAQs before you call so you can be clear on what is Reiki and if it is suitable for you.

Our Mosquito Minds!

It is said that a mosquito lives and dies within 200 meters from where it was born. Human mind is very similar to a mosquito in this aspect. Most of our lives we carry, repeat, and enhance the same patterns of emotions and beliefs that we formed in our childhood. We hardly ever venture out beyond the habituated confines of our minds.

The events may seem varied and the people we encounter different but the core emotional makeup and belief system remains more or less the same. We form ‘ruts’, so to speak, in our minds and every day we travel the same worn pathways deepening the furrows further and further.

A person with a belief that he is worthless only continues to strengthen that belief by doing everything to disprove it.

A person who hates herself continues to attract situations that only prove her ‘unworthiness’.

A ‘vulnerable’ person gets more hurt in spite all the defensive ‘shells’ they form and creep into.

An ‘unlucky’ person finds ‘misfortune’ all his life.

All the education we gain, all the worldly knowledge we acquire, all the travels we make only serve to strengthen our beliefs and emotions about ourselves and the world.

Rarely do we come across individuals who have broken the ruts and widened their horizons. For, in order to get out of our programmed thoughts and to see real internal progress we need to do extraordinary things.

Not extraordinary things outside of us, but within.

As creatures of comfort, we may be motivated to perform great feats in the outside world, but we dread going inwards. And true change cannot come until the mind goes inward and questions its own beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs that you carry can certainly incite you to achieve money, education, prosperity, and all other ‘successes’ but remember they are the ones that are causing and will continue to cause severe emotional discontent and stress. If internal peace and sense of well-being is what you really after, then go within.

If you feel worthless, question your definition of worthlessness!

If you hate yourself, then ask why you can’t accept yourself in spite of all ‘defects’ that you carry! Then challenge every ‘standard’ you ‘failed’ and hated yourself consequently.

Walk away from the furrowed emotional pathways; challenge every belief you hold sacred!  Only then can you find inner peace blossoming and true progress happening.

Suggested Reading:

Frustration: Shortcut to Failure

Power of Manifestation

How We Manifest Our Troubles!


Photo Courtesy:


What Should Be and What Is – The Eternal Human Conflict

Every problem that we face no matter how big or small it is arises out of the conflict between our ‘What Should Be’ and what is.

  • When we are on the track of ‘What Is’ and focus on the tracks ‘What Should Be’ …accidents happen.

    I should have my keys! I lost my keys!

  • My car shouldn’t have a flat tire! It does!
  • I should be getting more income! I am getting less!
  • My neighbor should mind his own business! He doesn’t!
  • My wife should do all the household chores! She isn’t!
  • My husband should support me financially! He isn’t!
  • My spouse should understand me! The spouse doesn’t!
  • My son should get better marks! He isn’t!
  • My daughter should dress properly! She doesn’t!
  • My parents should give me more freedom! They aren’t!
  • I should be healthy! I am diseased!
  • She should have been alive! She’s dead!

All the clients that ever came to me, all the problems I ever sought to resolve in my life – everything came down to a conflict between ‘What Should Be’ and what is.

No matter what help we resort to for our troubles, be it Allopathy, Ayurveda, Reiki, Hypnotherapy, Self-Help books, Psychological Counselors, a well-wisher’s advice, Angel Therapy, Cognitive Therapy, Critical Analysis, Astrology, Chakra Healing, Divination, it is always because we cannot accept what is and we have a ‘What Should Be’ in our head.

But have we ever once stopped to question our very ‘What Should Be’ beliefs?

Have we ever once thought why can we not simply accept what is?

We are so caught up in the denying, resisting, fighting with, attempting to change the ‘what is’ that we never for once sat back and asked ourselves why should anything be any other way that it is! We never questioned the standards! We never thought why can’t we simply accept what is!

Which standard says that human being should be healthy always? Is that a biological law? If it is, why, then, aren’t we always healthy? Why then must we die?

Who said that relationships must be the way we expect them to be? Is it a natural law of the universe? Don’t you realize that your relationship is lousy just because you are trying to make the other person confirm to your expectations of that role?

When you look deeper into the problem, we find that all the ‘What Should Be’ beliefs are all acquired standards. We picked them up in the process of growing up and learning to cope with this world. They are all mere beliefs. Yet they become our moral and social commandments of life. We seek to fulfill them at the cost of sacrificing who we are.

Some may say it is a conflict between ‘What I Want’ and what is. I’ve noticed ‘What I Want’ is either defined by ‘What Should Be’ or it becomes that.

The roots go deeper still until they touch our very egos. But we never want to go that deep. We just want to be on the surface and depend on our ‘What Should Be’s to define our happiness.

The truth is there is greater freedom in learning to accept what is. That does not mean we cannot or must not change what is. But in learning to accept, we lose our ‘What Should Be’ and then what needs to be actually done for the situation will become clear. It might be changing the situation or it might be simply being in the acceptance. In some cases if we accept the situation, the situation changes without any apparent effort on our part (except for the acceptance, of course).

Isn’t accepting everything that comes a loser’s way?

Where did you get your definition of losing and success from? Merely another ‘What Should Be’ standard!

And if we accept a situation just because the situation will change by acceptance, then we are still hanging on to a ‘What Should Be’.

Next time you have an issue just, for once, try accepting the reality of what is.

What do I mean by acceptance? Just be! Stop resisting. Just be. And see what happens!

Remember, when you are accepting, you must really let go of your ‘What Should Be’ for that particular situation. Otherwise, you are merely pretending to accept. You still haven’t come down into the reality.

Further Reading:

Emotional Drama

It’s Too Late Now

2012: The year of Freewill and Choice

Photo Courtesy: freedigitalphotos

Power of Manifestation – Part 3 – Common Pitfalls

Common pitfalls while learning positive manifestation are using negative words and thoughts, manifesting at the last minute, expecting permanent changes too fast. Click on title to read in detail…

“I am NOT angry!” – dwelling on the negative.

Dwelling on the negative

The greatest pitfall! When an angry person keeps repeating to himself, “I am not angry! I am not angry!” He is dwelling on the anger. A person who says, “I am peaceful and calm” is getting it right. But at the same time after manifesting to be peaceful, if you still go ahead and try to measure how much your anger has reduced, you are still dwelling on the negative. Dwell on the peace you are finding instead!

Manifesting changes in reaction of self but not the world around

This is the second greatest pitfall! Taking the above example of angry person manifesting peace further, if this person keeps creating a mental picture of him being peaceful despite his boss or some family member provoking him, then he is manifesting the wrong way! Remember, in your mind your world is under your control. So if you manifest the above, then you are still manifesting your boss or your family member to be mean to you. Instead, manifest having made peace with them too and you being a peaceful person!

Manifesting at the last minute

Last minute manifestations need more effort.

By the time you start manifesting the positive changes you are already down the path of the negative manifestation. Let me explain by an example. You are trying to stop the habit of falling asleep during the afternoons. If you start manifesting that only when your eyes start drooping, you are manifesting at the last minute. Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work. But you need to put extra effort. So by the time we are manifesting to stay awake, the old manifestation to fall asleep after lunch is already becoming a reality. Learn to start manifesting earlier, perhaps during the day much ahead of lunch. Of course, as you become stronger in positive manifestation, you will start questioning the need to sleep during the afternoons. Why did the need arise at all?

Expecting one manifestation exercise to change your core belief

Manifestations works wonderfully; in fact, as we discussed in earlier posts, our entire life is filled with manifestation of reality by our subconscious based on our beliefs. But what many people think is that if they do a single manifestation exercise to create a positive reality it will change their negative belief they had been carrying within.

The negative belief that you are trying to change is an age old belief. So expecting it to change with just one manifestation is unreasonable. The positive manifestation works every time you do it properly, but it requires a consistent repetition of many such positive manifestations for you to affect the core belief itself. It might get frustrating at times to see the negative belief surfacing up in spite of repeated efforts to think positive. Remember, frustration is the subconscious mind’s way to tricking you into giving up. (Read Frustration: The Shortcut to Failure).

Suggested Readings:

Frustration: The Shortcut to Failure
House of Cards Effect
How We Manifest Our Own Troubles

Photo Courtesy: farconville and Salvatore Vuono @

Power of Manifestation – Part 2 – Positive Manifestation

The power of manifestation is inherent in all of us. All we need to do is to harvest it and turn it to our advantage. Click on the title to read more about how to manifest positively…

Earlier we examined how nearly everything that happens to us is a result of our own manifestations at the subconscious level. It simply means that we have immense power to create our lives just the way we want it. But since we are programmed with a lot of self-limiting beliefs while growing up, we tend to manifest many situations to our disadvantage.

What we need to learn and master is the art of positive manifestation. With persistence, positive manifestation can even change your deep rooted beliefs about yourself and the laws of life. So how do we manifest positive events in our lives?

We start by first identifying and eliminating all the negative manifestations that we have created in our lives. Simple way to look for negative manifestations is by looking for patterns in our lives. Look for similar situations that we repeatedly put ourselves into. These are the situations we are creating. For instance, routinely getting caught in traffic, being late for office almost daily, fighting with our spouse every weekend, etc.

Before you start curbing this manifestation, understand what the situation is trying to teach you. Do you need to be more assertive? Do you need to spend time on planning before you act? Should you try to understand the needs of your partner or family members better? Don’t analyse the situation too much. Usually the solution is something simple and clear within you. Just ask yourself what you need to learn and the answer will pop from within. Make sure you learn before you go about stopping the negative manifestation.

Here’s how you stop negative manifestation. Run the whole situation in your head. Think of the reasons why the situation occurs. You may feel inclined to blame time and people. Unless you take personal responsibility you cannot change the situation. So now focus on yourself and think why you are creating this situation repeatedly. You will find a subconscious belief within you which is dictating this situation.

Now go about changing the situation in your mind. Replace all the negative elements in that situation with positive visualizations. For instance, if you are in the habit of arriving late to office, imagine that you are reaching at least ten minutes earlier and you are having ample time to relax yourself before beginning the day’s work. Create that visualization as convincingly as possible. You may find your mind throwing objections.

‘It’s Monday morning, there will be heavy traffic on the way.’

‘My spouse always delays breakfast.’

‘I have to hunt for fifteen minutes for a parking space.’

Brush aside all objections and recreate your visualization in your head. See yourself arriving on time. Do it again and again. Now let go of the imagination. They key to successful manifestation lies in creating an absolutely positive visualization and then letting it go. You may write a great mail but you cannot get a reply unless you send the mail. So let go of the visualization. Repeat the process of visualising the positive and letting go every time a negative objection enters your head. Don’t argue with your head, you cannot win such arguments! Just brush aside the negative thoughts and visualize the positive once more. Wait for the results. You will soon be surprised with how you can change situations in your life.

In the next post, I will discuss common pitfalls we encounter in the early stages of learning positive manifestation.

Suggested Reading:

Mind Drama
Anger Management 

Photo Courtesy:

Power of Manifestation – Part 1

We are hardly aware that nearly every experience we have in life is a product of our own manifestation. Unless we look back at the recurring patterns in our lives, we cannot really see the truth or be aware of the immense power we have at our disposal. Click on the title to read more…

Every thought of ours has a ripple effect!

Nearly everything that happens to us is our creation. On the outside we may believe circumstances or people around us are responsible for certain experiences we go through in life. Looking at a situation in isolation certainly portrays it so. However, if you just take a step back and look at the whole picture called ‘life’ the truth becomes apparent.

How is it that we continually become victims in certain situations? Some of us repeatedly find ourselves in financial crunches. Some of us inevitably become the scapegoat of office politics. Some of us are regular victims of bullying. Some of us end up in only bad relationships. Some of us always get caught in the traffic.

Isn’t it uncanny that nature, fate, or people around always know to pick on you? When you look at an isolated situation of your boss bypassing you for a promotion it certainly looks like he’s been playing politics. But when you look at the pattern of similar events in your life where you never received what you deserved in your career, isn’t that too much of a coincidence? What is the common factor in all of these events? You!

Our subconscious has the ability to manifest into reality what it believes to be true. A person who believes that tragedy follows every happy situation in life, his subconscious makes it true. How does it exactly achieve such feats may be explained by rationality alone. It is true that, through our body language, facial reactions, and our general interactions with the world around we communicate our beliefs and personality.

For instance, a person who suffers from low self-esteem and believes she will never get approval from her family will always put forward a body behaviour which invites disapproval. She manages to get herself into situations where she will be disapproved for her actions. She attracts relationships that will prove her beliefs right.

In the next post, let us examine how to use this power of manifestation to our advantage and learn to manifest what we want in life.

Suggested Readings:

Mind Drama
How We Manifest Our Own Troubles

Photo Courtesy: Salvatore Vuono @

It’s too late now!

Understand, if you are saying ‘it’s too late’ for any change, it simply means you are comfortable being miserable or are too afraid to change. Probably it’s both! Click on title to read more…

Time – our excuse to escape change! But can we escape?

“Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on
And it makes me wonder” Stairway to Heaven

I hear this often from a lot of clients:

“I can’t change my career path…it’s too late for that!”

“I can’t change! It’s too late now!”

“I can’t get married anymore, I’m too old marriage!”

“Our relationship cannot change. It’s too late!”

Then why do you even come for therapy?

If you feel it’s too late, then accept your fate and learn to like it! If not, change your fate!

When we see a beautiful image on Facebook with a quote that reads “It’s never too late to change who you are!”, we immediately click like, share it to the world, and feel smug about it. But when it comes to our own lives we always have the excuse “It’s too late!”

We all know it’s never too late. We are so comfortable in our uncomfortable and fearful existence that we do not want to come out of it. Hence the excuse ‘it’s too late’.

Remember, the day you said ‘it’s too late’ is the day you decided shirk responsibility for your issues. You just want to stay where you are because it gives you the perfect opportunity to grumble, snort, sneer, cry,  complain, and be miserable. You both like where you are and are too much of a coward to change who you are.

Every moment in life is a perfect opportunity for change and in fact, life makes sure you keep getting opportunities one after the other after the other just to help you change. But as the old saying goes, you can take a horse to the lake but you cannot make it drink, the decision to take action is yours!

I have had a client in his late 60’s who was ready to dig up and deal with childhood issues and gave up his 40 year old addiction of tobacco chewing. I have also had a 25 year old client who told me it was too late to learn to deal with his colleagues in office and walked out of my room and six months later he hung himself to death!

Choose where you want to be! Now is a perfect opportunity to change! 

Suggested Readings:

Comparing a 5th Grader with a Post Graduate?

House of Cards Effect

Social Averages

Picture Courtesy: Salvatore Vuono from

2012, the year of freewill and choice!

2011 whizzed past us but not without teaching us significant lessons for our evolution. This year we are into a different belt of learning altogether. With the commencement 2012, the energies shifted subtly from trust to freewill. We are back at the helm of our lives and we are absolutely free to steer us where we will. It is a year of paradigm shift but that shift is not collective.

2011 whizzed past us but not without teaching us significant lessons for our evolution. Each of us crossed great milestones be it in our spiritual progress or our material one. Perhaps at a point, some of us even realized there is no difference between the two.

One of the most important lessons we all learnt was trust the divine. Of course, for each of us the divine took a distinct, and a more personal, form. Some of us called it the universe, some have called it the white light, others said it was God, and more have called it the Higher Self or Higher Consciousness. Though the perceptive form was different the source was the same. We all learnt to trust in something beyond us. We learnt to stop controlling too much and to trust and to flow with the course of events.

And by trusting we received more. What was not in sync with our higher good dropped out or fell away, while what was to be in our lives flowed easily. We gained a greater resonance with the creation and the creator; our psychic abilities and intuitive sense suddenly leapt out of the deep slumber and galloped.

Year of Freewill!

This year we are into a different belt of learning altogether. With the commencement 2012, the energies shifted subtly from trust to freewill. We are back at the helm of our lives and we are absolutely free to steer us where we will. It is a year of paradigm shift but that shift is not collective. We would be mistaken in envisioning fantastic events beyond our control manoeuvring us towards a great change more in accordance with the universe. No! It is a year of paradigm shift in that it begins with each individual undergoing great personal change that would reshape our personalities, goals and evolutionary paths. And as more individuals make the right choice the shift turns global and collective. Imagine series of tiny tube lights set in geometric shapes. Each beginning to flicker and finally glow one by one. Once all the tubes light up the whole shift from darkness to the light is complete!

Our Personal Choices!

These personal changes are not without a choice. Each of us have a choice and each of us is the master of our destinies. We can choose to move ahead or stay back. This is a year of clear cut decisions and the Universe has decided not to interfere against our wills. The responsibility is upon us. We manifest our fortunes! If last year we knew we couldn’t reach some of our goals because we were not meant to; this year any obstacles to our goals could simply mean we manifested them or must try another approach to our goals.

With freewill comes great manifestation abilities; but that is where our sharpened psychic senses and intuitive abilities from 2011 come our rescue. Having connected with our higher selves in the previous year, the messages of what is our right path for ascension will be clear and precise. This year trains our ability to heed that voice within and make the right choices. 2011 was the year of tuning to the messages within, 2012 is the year to follow them. From philosophy to action!

Does that mean I can make wrong choices?

Yes and No! Yes, we can make wrong choices but not without knowing they are wrong choices. Not without being informed the choice is not in rapport with our highest good. No, we cannot make wrong choices because we will know how each choice will affect us in the future. Last year has made sure we have that ability. That wisdom gives us the power to manifest what is for our highest good and to steer ourselves clear of wrong paths.

If we want to still go ahead and make a wrong choice, of course the universe is allowing us to do that this year, unlike in 2011. But that is precisely what makes this year exciting, wonderful, and spiritually uplifting! We are free! We are the masters of our destinies! We have real choices and we can do what we will of our lives!

Will the Universe not support us this year?

No, this is the year when the Universe is absolutely behind us! That is why whatever choices we make this year, we will find them manifesting into our lives, into our realities!

If you have fears of such power, just manifest that the universe gently nudge you every now and then when you are straying from the path. It will happen! But you still are responsible for the choices you make. The universe will just play the reminder clock in the snooze mode!

Believe your intuitive abilities and psychic senses were not tuned enough?

Trust yourself! There was no one who made it through 2011 who is without any intuitive abilities and gifts. It is just that you haven’t recognized them yet! Perhaps you think intuition involves sudden and vivid flashes of mental images and memories. While it is true that some people, who are highly visual, do get intuitive messages in such a dramatic fashion, for most of us it is more common place and straightforward. Because intuition is not a special gift reserved only for the specially chosen people; it is as common as common sense and equally less used!

Remember a time when you first met a person, something inside you told you cannot trust that person and you finally turned out to be right? Remember when something within said a specific question would be asked in your exam or interview and it turned out to be true? Remember a time when you knew what other person is about to say before that person would even open the lips? If that is not intuition, then you’ve misunderstood the meaning of the word!

Trust yourself! There is no great year than 2012 to learn to do that!

So we all begin this exciting journey of writing out life stories on the canvas of time and making it to our chosen destinies. Having said all about right and wrong choices, remember one thing – no choice will stop your progress! It only some choices speed you up while others slow you down. Still, whatever choices we’ve made, we are all going home! To the Light!

Love and Light
Wiccan Healing Team

Photos Courtesy: ponsuwanStuart Milesgraur razvan ionutnuttakit

Do you deserve to be healed?

Often our subconscious blocks healing just because we feel we don’t deserve to be healed! Get out of this foolish judgmental behavior!

Often we get ready to deal with issue in our lives but fail to ask that crucial question – Do I deserve to be healed? Am I worth receiving this healing? And failing to ask it becomes a mistake in many cases. Because it is a question that runs in the subconscious of many of us and the answer for that question, a lot of times is, no! And it is not the therapist who gives that answer; it is the client’s themselves.

We have all grown up with a lot of SEER programming – Socio Economic Educational and Religious programming. And as a part of that programming we are taught very early in life about guilt and punishment, and about merit and worth. We are told we receive only when we deserve it. We receive gifts when we deserve them and punishment when we deserve it.

We grow up to be judges of our own merits and faults. We grow up with a sense of who deserves what. So we end up asking a question as stupid as this – Do I deserve to be healed?

A Practical Exercise

I have had many clients who stopped just short of resolving their issues only because they feel they don’t deserve. And it is not just the area of healing this question is being asked. We apply this foolish question on many other areas of our life and block our happiness.

Do this exercise; just go and stand before a mirror and ask yourself the following:

Do I deserve to be rich?
Do I deserve such a happy life?
Do I deserve a wonderful partner?
Do I deserve mercy?
Do I deserve miracles in life?

Do I deserve to be poor?
Do I deserve the biggest issue I have in my life?
Do I deserve to be slapped on my face?
Do I deserve to be punished?

You can be surprised at the answers you give.

How do you stop this attitude?

It’s time to let go of this ‘eye for an eye’ judgemental attitude. And how do you do this? Stop judging people! As long you pronounce judgements on others’ lives you will continue to do so, even more so, with your own life.

And begin to look upon yourself as if you were a third person. Because we find many times it is easy to forgive others but not ourselves. The moment we look at ourselves as a third person, it is easy to be lenient on our own merits and demerits.

And work yourself out of the childhood programming you received. This can happen only if you turn open minded enough to question every ‘moral and social value’ that was programmed in you. Start today, it is never too late!

Photo Courtesy: David Castillo Dominici @

Social Aver‘ages’ – Part 2

Once we realize Social Aver‘ages’ are just averages not benchmarks it is easy for us to get rid of our subconscious beliefs with some consistent effort.


Family Averages

If you haven’t read Part 1, read it here.

It is practically impossible for any single human to meet all Social Aver‘ages’. It is like striving to be a Common Man. None of us liked to be called a common man yet we all strive to meet average expectations of the society.

Some people may achieve professional success according to expectations but cannot meet that in family life. Some people have tremendous success in family but fail at personal aver’ages’. Each of us is unique.

Another important aspect to be aware of is that a social aver‘age’ is not a biological aver‘age’.  Socially the aver‘age’ of pairing and reproduction varies from culture to culture. However, a person is biologically ready to reproduce when he/she attains puberty which is roughly around ages 10 to 13. You must be worried if you do not attain puberty even by 18, not if you can’t get married by 30.

So the first step to getting rid of Social Aver‘ages’ from your subconscious is to understand Social Aver‘ages’ are all just averages not benchmarks. There is no harm in sticking to them but if we fail to achieve them it is okay too.

It is also important to understand that as long as we place emphasis on what our friends, relatives and neighbours talk about us, we cannot really shake Social Aver‘ages’ out of our heads. And as I said in the earlier post, more than others it is the critic within who needs to be silenced. It means we also need stop judging others based on Social Aver‘ages’.

Effort is the next logical step. Whenever you find you are comparing or criticising yourself or others on basis of the Social Aver‘ages’, stop and review your opinions. This can happen only if you are committed to change.

A Social Aver‘age’ is a deep rooted belief – at foundation level. So it will keep popping up consistently and your efforts need to be that consistent too. You keep doing this with persistence, you will soon find that your issues based on Social Aver‘ages’ coming down and you are able to live life with much more personal freedom.

Just keep the awareness going in your head and you are bound to change your core beliefs! Expect setbacks because they could happen. Read my blog on House of Cards Effect to know facts about how, because of a false assumption, we easily give up on resolving our problems.

Lastly, if you are a parent please stop pressurising your children on the basis of Social Aver‘ages’. We therapists get too many disappointed parents and discouraged youngsters.

Photo Courtesy: photostock @

Frustration: The shortcut to failure

Frustration is the real enemy that thwarts our attempts towards success. It can also be used to motivate yourself but you need to be very careful in such an endeavor.

Here’s a failure scenario:

Sam is a young man who wants to get rid of chronic negative thinking. So he reads some mind management techniques online and finds motivation. He decides that he is going to be a changed man free from negative thoughts and starts applying the techniques he’s learnt with rigorous zeal. His first attempt fails; he perseveres. His second attempt fails; he perseveres. His third attempt fails and he gets disappointed but not discouraged; he perseveres. His fourth attempt fails; he begins to get frustrated. Doubts about success begin in Sam’s head. But he still decides to forge ahead. His fifth attempt fails. This time Sam gets really irritated. Somewhere he begins to believe he would never succeed. He decides to try once more. His seventh failure breaks his resolve. He bursts out in frustration. In frustration he gives up and concludes that negative thinking is a part of his nature and there is nothing he can do about it. Instantly he is barraged with a volley of negative thoughts to ‘prove his point’.

Doesn’t this scenario sound familiar or, perhaps, even personal?


Frustration is a double edged sword. We can use it to motivate us or to…well, frustrate us! We need to use it carefully or keep it at bay altogether. For frustration easily thwarts our attempts to change ourselves.

When we are attempting to resolve an issue within, say like negative thinking or anger, we are in fact attempting to change a belief or trying to get rid of a strong habit that is coming from the subconscious mind. Now the subconscious, though an extremely powerful part of our mind, cannot discriminate right from wrong. So any suggestions put into it, provided there are no opposing stronger beliefs, it simply executes that belief like a computer executes a program. The subconscious makes our beliefs true and keeps on doing it until we alter the beliefs. So it is but natural that it takes consistent conscious effort on our part to resolve these issues. But it is also natural that as humans we tend to get impatient. However, if we let that impatience and frustration convince us to give up working towards an issue then we can never be free from our problems.

The second reason why frustration comes so easily is because of a false belief that we all tend to hold. We believe that when we fail all our previous efforts towards resolving an issue are wasted and, essentially, “we are back to square one”. That is a false belief. And that very belief is enough to keep us forever in the issue loop.

We tend to assume efforts to change ourselves is like building a house of cards and one failure will cause the entire structure to come tumbling down. We exercise self-control for a long time and then suddenly the issue bursts out, and we think all our efforts have been wasted. Not a single resource in life is wasted by our mind. Every effort we put towards self-healing is a real learning for our mind as well as our body. We never ‘go back’ on an issue. We are constantly moving with every moment in life. Are we moving out of the issue or are we pulling ourselves deeper into the quagmire is the real question. Frustration only pushes us deeper into the issue.

The very knowledge that our efforts can never be wasted and that frustration is the real enemy can give you the power to overcome your frustration. Just carry this awareness in your head and constantly remind yourself of it in every attempt to change yourself. Next time you find frustration peeping into your head, just wag your finger at it and tell it get out. It is very easy to do once you learn frustration is the real enemy for success.

Setbacks are a part of life. Failure only comes when we actually give up.

Photo courtesy: From Photo by ‘graur razvan ionut’